Monday 22nd July
The day I went for my MRI scan, a scan you say easy I thought it would be easy it was bloody horrific laying on my front with my boobs in what could only be described as a basket for 35 minutes it wasn't a nice experience at all, I have seen MRI scans so many times from behind the glass window but being in one, it was so noisy even with headphones over my ears at one point I was really frightened I shed a few tears while I laid in there on my own.
Thursday 25th July
Today was the day I got my results from the MRI on that I had had on Monday, The consultant was hoping the MRI scan would show the mass was small enough to perform a lumpectomy - a lumpectomy is where they just remove the lump leaving the breast in place so it conserves the rest of the breast and tissue.
However, the results were in and it was more bad news the results showed the mass was not just one mass or two it was multifocal meaning there were more than one or two masses there was around five or six masses one slightly larger and lots of little tumours around the primary mass.
The MRI also showed the breast tissue has high-grade ductal carcinoma all around them the whole area was nine centimetres by seven centimetres so the cancer was far more extensive than originally thought, this meant there was no other way to remove the cancer, other than to have a full mastectomy it was a hard blow to swallow.
We talked through my options, the consultant told me if I wanted immediate breast reconstruction she could give me an implant which would probably leave me looking very odd, also the risk of infection was high and with me having to have second-line treatment after the mastectomy it would probably end up not being very nice. It would also be difficult to fix if it was to end up damaged or infected.
The consultant recommended a mastectomy with delayed reconstruction would probably be the best thing for me as there was less risk of infection and the reconstruction, later on, would be easier for them to perform and would look a lot better.
It was a really difficult decision, I decided that I would go with her recommendation of the latter option, a full mastectomy with delayed reconstruction, although I would have to wait 18 months to two years for this, by then hopefully all this nightmare of a situation would be over and I would be properly healed.
I can't tell you what it feels like knowing you have got to go to surgery and have your breast removed and wake up flat.
How would you feel if you were told you had got to have one of your breasts removed?
I have never really realised how much having boobs makes you feel like a woman, when you have had them all your life and someone tells you, you have got to have one taken away it just makes me feel really sad, I am dreading the surgery, dreading waking up flat, its not normal and things will never, ever be the same again implant or rebuild my boobs will never be what they were and never look the same.
On the plus side, I will be alive, the operation will be the start of my recovery, the start of me being cancer-free and the start of getting back to normal, although things will never be normal as I knew them before, maybe somewhere I can find a new kind of normal. The road to recovery is still a long way off and after surgery, no decisions have been made to what treatment I am having next so this is just the beginning.
Oh gosh! Sending love and hugs. I am sorry it has came to this but it sounds like you've made the best decision when it comes to how they treat it. I am sure you would find a new kind of normal. Thinking of you x
ReplyDeleteI’m really sorry you’re going through something so difficult—it’s completely natural to feel scared, sad, and overwhelmed by such a life-changing decision. Choosing a mastectomy with delayed reconstruction shows incredible strength, even when it doesn’t feel that way. Your feelings about identity and femininity are valid, and many people share similar emotions during this journey. With time, healing—both physical and emotional can bring a sense of acceptance and renewed confidence. In moments like these, focusing on support, care, and reliable help whether emotional or practical, even through services like Domyexamforme.us.com can make the path a little easier to navigate.
ReplyDeleteReading through this journey, the fear and weight of each decision really comes through, especially facing surgery and the unknown that follows. Moments like the MRI experience and the news after show just how strong someone has to be to keep moving forward. Holding onto the idea of recovery and a new normal takes real courage. It reminds me how people protect what matters most, whether it’s their health or something practical like a commercial truck battery lock, both about safety and staying secure through difficult situations.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a deeply personal and difficult experience. Reading about your MRI and the fear you felt in that moment really brought out how overwhelming these situations can be, even when you think you’re prepared. Getting results like that must have been incredibly hard to process, especially with everything changing so quickly. From my experience, while working on my thesis on breast cancer, I came across many stories that highlighted not just the medical side but the emotional strength patients carry through such journeys. Balancing that research alongside my work through online dissertation writing gave me a deeper appreciation for real experiences like yours. Your courage in sharing this is truly powerful and meaningful.
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