I don't normally rant on my blog about things that make me angry and to be honest that's because not that many things in life make me that angry. So angry that I want to thump someone in the face or give them a firm shake and tell them to get there head out of cuckoo land - but what I read on Facebook today from the article to peoples views made me see red .
The Article that sparked the mass of stupid comments by absolutely ignorant people was posted by Parent dish titled
"ADHD is a label not a real disease according to an American neuroscientist." The Article it's self makes some valid points I don't believe medication should be given out like sweets, I think that each area of alternative treatment should be tried like changing diets, finding extra activities to occupy a child and if nothing else works then the medication route should be approached but with great caution.
I agree that
ADHD is a label, I don't believe for one moment that it is a disease, I believe that some where in the brain the person has simply been wired differently from the rest of us. However this is a label that helps to cement the stepping stones that will guide children through the rest of their lives and to deal with there behaviors and difficulty's.
Who cares if it's just a label? Any condition that exists in the body or should I say in the brain like depression, anxiety, OCD and ADHD, they are all things that people can't see, that people don't class as an illness just because they can't see the illness physically, however this does not mean that the individual person is not ILL.
Just because you can't see anything physically it doesn't mean their label is any less worthy, than someone who has heart trouble or has broken their leg, the only difference is most people with a physical illness get better, those with an illness or disease that is trapped in there mind will probably be trapped with their thoughts forever and I think there is no where that could be more lonely than a person or especially a child that is trapped with thoughts or actions they simply can't control.
The Article I am guessing has been written to spark debate, however it wasn't so much the article that made me feel like I was boiling over in anger, it was the comments underneath - the article was a fine example of how people with a small minded existence look at other families another way to attack parents that have a tough enough job on a day to day basis and its the type of comments that will have mums like me and you questioning there own parenting skills.
Now I was going to post the picture on this blog post but I am not sure I am aloud to so here are two of the worst comments;
"Completely agree. It's a label parents use who have badly behaved children!"
"its a label that parents use for their lazy parenting skills and not being able to control their own children!!"
The two quotes are clearly from two very small minded people that have absolutely no idea of what they are talking about - a very good example of ignorance in life.
Although Liam is not diagnosed with anything and may never be, he is a really difficult child he always has been difficult. I have two boys that have both been raised in exactly the same way, neither has more than the other in gifts or in parenting, yet they are like chalk and cheese I have one child that is reasonably good where as the other often goes out of his way to be naughty, to push every last bit of patience I have, I often think he strives to win situations or to manipulate them to get his own way.
Let me tell you its bloody hard work, my parenting skills are far from lazy in fact there are days when I feel like I am sick of my own voice, I am constantly on his back, to stop kicking, throwing, hitting, spitting even just getting him to lick a piece of food, it's an uphill battle and the reason for the lick is because he will not put food in his mouth.
Saturday we went for a meal, after the meal Liam wanted to go on the park outside the pub. The park climbing frame was over 6ft tall and was clearly labelled for children over six only - yes there was a smaller climbing area for younger children, but oh no Liam did not want to play on that he wanted to go on the bigger area he was told NO, resulting in a complete melt down of screaming and dragging his feet.
At this point it was time to leave it took two of us to physically drag him back to the car, people staring, tutting and raising there eyebrows.
Was this down to bad parenting, definitely not is it down to Liam - I don't know, I wont know until he has been investigated, but what I do know is most people who write comments like the above have absolutely no idea at all of what it is like to live with a child who is constantly badly behaved, parenting with a "normal" child is hard enough, but with one that has extreme difficulty's with behavior etc takes over your whole life and every morning you wake up it is a struggle.
My reply back to those comments is to think before you judge parents on what you're seeing in front of your eyes, you have absolutely no idea of other peoples or children's personal circumstances, some of this behavior just can't be helped and blaming the parents is just making their lives more difficult, bad judgement rubs off onto others and make the parents that have to deal with ADHD etc, have to deal with your ignorance as well, in turn making life so much harder than it has to be. If your opinions are of the above I would rather you kept them to yourself, it is clear that people are very uneducated and the stigma that goes with any sort of mental health issues are still very real - in 2014 its really not good enough.
I have personally read and do read everything I possibly can about conditions that could potentially be affecting our future, I would never ever make a comment on something I knew nothing about.
My son may have ADHD or Autism or whatever else the professionals may or may not throw at us but he is happy well dressed we laugh, play, in fact he is very funny and he is learning to become very loving - he is a very special little boy.
Do not stare when you see children having a melt down or an over exaggerated tantrum - think about how you would feel if that was your child?
