My Breast Cancer journey - The Results are in!

On Monday the 7th of October, I was called in to meet with my oncologist for the very first time, during my journey I have only had to meet with my breast consultant who is lovely I had been quite apprehensive about meeting him not just because he is a new consultant to me, but because it was in oncology - a place where I started my journey in the NHS I was a health care assistant there for five years before I went to do my nursing training I learnt so much there, I gained a lot of friends some of whom I am still friends with now, it taught me a lot about life and also a lot about cancer which I am not sure is such a good thing now I am a cancer patient myself sometimes knowledge is not a good thing.

I met with my consultant he was friendly and really nice enough I felt at ease, I sat myself down in the chair and I could see my results on the computer screen my OncotypeDX score was high which means my reoccurrence score is high, in a nutshell, I have got to have chemotherapy.

I have been really well since my mastectomy surgery and in actual fact the last few weeks I have felt a bit of a fraud having time off work, I have felt really positive and motivated somehow in my little brain I thought my journey was going to be over I had envisaged my score to be low,. I thought the oncologist would give me hormone treatment in the way of tablets for the next ten years and that would be that I would be skipping back to work before Christmas.

It wasn't meant to be I am now facing at least another four months off work, I have eight sessions of chemotherapy ahead of me I will have one session then a three-week break then another session then a three-week break and so on until I get to number eight. I know the chemotherapy Journey is going to be a long and gruelling one and honestly this week I have been in shock, I try to pretend its fine I will get through it and I will, I have to, but inside I just feel so sad and scared, I'm not scared for me I'm scared for the kids in the last ten years I have had four c-sections a hysteroscopy and a mastectomy and nothing has bought me to my knees I am so frightened that this is going to make me ill enough so I cant look after the kids.

The Consultant went on to explain some of the most common side effects, Nausea, vomiting diarrhoea, constipation a sore mouth and throat, taste changes, bruising or bleeding, tiredness and feeling weak, anaemia, numbness or tingling of the hands and feet, fluid retention, watery eyes, I will lose my hair within the first three weeks and I could lose my nails - I need to stay away from people with infections as my immunity will be low (easier said than done when you have five children that are walking bugs!) I also had to sign a disclaimer that says in rare cases chemotherapy can cause death - Its not surprising that I left the appointment and sobbed and sobbed I have just been so positive and felt so well - I just kept thinking Why does it have to be me? What have I done wrong? needless to say, I haven't really felt great this week smiling on the outside but on the inside, I'm cracking. Next week is a new week though next week I am going to find my motivation again, next week I am going to try not to overthink, I'm going to try to enjoy the half term with the kids I know I will get through this for myself and my family

I won't ever give up.

Back to School - Top Tips (The useful ones)

The countdown begins we are nearly there the kids are going back to school get the trumpets out, flags out, strike it off on the calendar.

I can already hear the sound of silence whilst I enjoy my tea in the morning without having to make three cups because the rest have gone cold, usually all I can hear is the screaming of he's took my toy, he's licking me, he's pulled the curtains down, he's yes breathing on me the list just goes on!

You know what else I'm actually looking forward to not having to tell the boys to put the seat down on the toilet a thousand times a day, or trying to work out each day which one of the boys Wee I have just sat in, fact

Now don't get me wrong I like any other parent love my children till the end of time, however, they have been at home too long now they miss there friends and as hard as it is to admit this, us parents just aren't enough for them.

Prepare yourself

Gosh, it's hard especially if it's your youngest child going to school or your first child or any child for that matter, honestly its alright cry but I don't know about you but my mind does crazy things when the kids are not around.

We think about how we're going to fill the void DO NOT go out and buy yourself a kitten, puppy, guinea pig or think that by procreating we can somehow make it all better, schedule in some friends, go out for lunch, have some much needed me time, paint your nails have a long bath, imagine actually having a bath without a bazillion questions and someone going for a poo at the same time sounds like bliss.
Make plans so your not spending the next seven hours concocting a master plan that could turn into a nightmarish situation.

Prepare your child

DO NOT do what I have done I have told my child everyday from last week that they're about to start school with there big brothers, only to get an e-mail from the school in actual fact they don't start school until next week, my new resolution is to find time to read all the crappy papers that the school send home instead of putting them in the very organised kitchen crap draw that I will possibly sort out sometime next year.
Your child is bound to be anxious whether they are just starting out or moving up a class reassure them and make sure you have everything they need for there first day the last thing they need is to have PE on there first day and they have to do it in there trousers cause mummy forgot to send them with there PE bag (Don't be too hard on yourself if you do forget, I hold my hands up and say I'm not always on it with PE kits)

 

Get there haircut,

I have boys of school age so I tend to keep there hair short at all times trust me you want to do this otherwise they will be coming home with nits I promise you that nit letter will be circulating the kids school bags within the first week or two of starting school - if you have girls tie it up and make sure you keep a stock of nit lotion I kid you not you will need it!

Tissues,

Always on the first day, there are some tears the kids cry. Mummas we need to stay strong fake that smile it will reassure them - then leg it to the car or home where you can have a good cry it's ok, it's normal just have those tissues at the ready.

Labels,

The feeling of dread when I think about labelling their bloody clothes honestly make sure everything is labelled twice, I am a stupid parent I should have brought the labels that you can stick inside there clothes, I always leave it until last minute and end up the night before with a biro writing on all the clothes tags, shoes and bags don't be like me be smart buy the Bloody sticky labels! in terms of school uniform I have never put much faith in my children by the end of the first week we have usually lost at least two jumpers a t-shirt and have acquired school attire that is three sizes too big for them, I wish I could get a huge marker pen and write there name straight across the front of the boy's clothes but then I'm still not convinced the boys would come home with there own things.

Make plans

It's going to be a difficult time, the kids miss you and you miss them, enjoy the time at home you have left together and make plans to do something fun at the weekend so your children and you have something to look forward to, a treat always helps to motivate them through the first week as its a tough and tiring one for little people

My Breast Cancer Journey - Telling the kids I have cancer

I'm sure that I've gone through many of the same stages that anyone diagnosed with cancer has, including denial, anger, grief and acceptance.

But telling the kids I have Breast Cancer is by far one of the hardest things I have had to do on this journey so far. The feeling of actual pain I felt when I told the kids really hurt me it, it was worse than any physical pain I have felt it was heartbreaking to know it was going to hurt them and this was something I couldn't protect them from.

When I have told people that the kids know that I have Breast cancer most are surprised, a lot of people think I didn't have to tell them or that I shouldn't have told them, nothing is ever that black and white, Kids have a radar they know when something is going on, they know when people are telling them to leave rooms or whispering in corners, which causes them to be anxious and they begin second-guessing which is natural and is exactly what happened with my children, this is also the reason I decided to be as open and as honest as I possibly could with them.

I found Adam sat at the bottom of the stairs tears rolling down his little cheeks I had to ask him several times what was the matter before he managed to mutter, I don't want you to have an operation mummy, it broke me at that point I didn't know what to say, I hadn't prepared to have to explain myself to a seven-year-old, that although mummy looked very well, mummy was very sick, for a moment time stood still, I put my arms around him and picked him up, sat him on my knee I cuddled him, while I composed myself trying not to let him see that I was going to cry. I held him for a while and told him that I would talk to him and Liam (my 9 year old) later and for now to try not to worry, mummy would talk to them both when the babies had gone to bed, maybe I should have spoken to him then, but I needed to prepare and think about exactly what and how I was going to tell them both I just needed a bit more time.

later that evening I sat them both down, I made them put down there games consoles and listen I told them I had cancer, I told them I had cancer in my boobie - this they could understand there was a little giggle between them - of course, the word boobie and boys of seven and nine are bound to have a giggle, Liam looked at me and said I know what cancer is mummy its a rogue cell isn't it mummy and if it spreads somewhere else you will die, Adam said are you going to die, mummy,?

I told them that I was going to try my hardest to get better, I wish I could have promised them I was going to get better I am 90% positive I am of course going to get better and Cancer isn't going to beat me, but I can't promise them because I don't know.

I explained to them that most importantly they couldn't catch it and if they wanted to ask me any questions they could, I also explained I would have to go to the hospital, maybe stay for a few days whilst they took my boobie away to get rid of cancer which is a nasty bug. I also might have to have more medicine after my operation because cancer sometimes takes more than just an operation to get rid of, I also told them we could talk more about once I knew what medicine (if any fingers crossed) that I would have to have.

They both seemed to take in what I was telling them well the boys were as alright as they would ever be about the situation and you know I felt a sense of relief, relief that it was out in the open, relief that they could openly talk about it.

I wasn't prepared for the next day - I wasn't prepared for the four-year-old Jack to ask me mummy do you have cancer? the boys had been talking and he had overheard.

When I had told the older two boys the night before I had just got it into my head that the twins and Jack were too young to understand and there was absolutely no point in me telling them - now here I was looking into the big green eyes of my baby boy wondering what I was going to say - I nodded and said yes Jack mummy has got cancer.

I wasn't prepared for the question nor his reaction he burst into tears I couldn't stop myself before I knew it I was crying with him, I said to him its a really nasty bug Jack but the hospital and doctors are going to look after mummy he pointed at me and said which one has the nasty bug mummy and I pointed to my left side, he then said I thought cancer would make you dead - now I don't think he quite understands the concept of dead but I explained again mummy was going to try her very bestest to get better so we could keep having lots of fun. He nodded and said don't worry mummy I will look after you and with that he was gone playing with his cars.

I should never have underestimated Jack but honestly I thought when I told the oldest two boys he was just too little to understand and take any of it in - I was wrong but I'm glad now we can deal with things as a family if one of the boys are feeling sad or I'm feeling sad and unwell we can talk things through.

If they're scared or need to tell me how they're feeling at least they don't feel like they can't or they are not allowed to talk about Cancer, they know that its not their fault, children often think if they listen to something that they shouldn't have they will be in trouble and hold onto their thoughts and feelings and of course I don't want them to feel guilty or feel like they carry a burden of keeping a secret.

It is the best decision that I have made to get it all out in the open but not an easy conversation to have and Jack now tells complete strangers in the street my mummy has cancer but kids will be kids, I'm glad, I'm glad I decided to be honest with them.

Something I have already come to realise, is that a lot of people don't like to talk about cancer, but it is a subject that needs to be talked about, people, unfortunately, need to be aware that this shitty disease it is a part of life, the more we talk about it the more people have a chance, a chance at life.

The more awareness we have the more people can be treated early and their lives can be saved. So keep talking and keep sharing! #BreastCancerAwareness   

BE BREAST AWARE #KnowYourBoobs

If you have been keeping up with my recent posts, you would know I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, before I go on and tell you what's been happening with other appointments I thought now was a good time to share with you some statistics about Breast Cancer and remind everyone how important it is to check your boobs, I know, I know I don't want to teach you to suck eggs, really we all already know how important it is, but how many of us can actually put our hand on our heart and say we check our boobs regularly?

Checking our boobs should be at least in our weekly routine if not more frequently, for example, when you apply conditioner to your hair in the bath or shower, whilst you are leaving it in for a few minutes you could easily be checking both of your boobs for lumps bumps and changes if checking your boobs is not part of your routine, make it part of your routine.

Breast cancer Stats 

• (33%) of women aren’t regularly checking. A fifth (20%) say it’s because they don’t know how to check their breasts.

• Breast cancer is the most common cancer in the UK, 

• one person is diagnosed every 10 minutes.

• 1 in 8 women in the UK will develop breast cancer in their lifetime.

• Breast cancer survival is improving and has doubled in the past 40 years in the UK.

• Almost 9 in 10 women survive breast cancer for five years or more.

• Every year around 11,500 people die from breast cancer in the UK.

I wouldn't want anyone to go through the horrible situation that I'm in however if Breast Cancer  is Caught early it is very curable, so make sure you keep checking I can't tell you enough how important it is, check your boobs often, look at them in the mirror so you know them like the back of your hand that way it will be so much easier to notice any changes. be breast aware #KnowYourBoobs. 

*Statistic taken from Breast cancer care UK

I Have Breast Cancer

I keep saying it because I can barely believe it myself I have Breast Cancer I'm thirty-six years old, I have five children and I have Breast Cancer how can life be so bloody cruel.

4% THE NUMBER OF WOMEN UNDER 39 THAT GET BREAST CANCER 

physically I feel so well apart from having the odd pain in the breast I am no different to how I was a month ago except now I know, I know I have a monster growing in my breast one that is trying to suck the life out of me, how do I feel honestly, I am just numb I am talking about it to people telling friends, family, work colleagues as if its just something that has happened or happens to everyone its still does not feel real, my brain just isn't processing the information at this point.

Thursday 11th July Diagnosis and the plan 

Today was the day I was given my diagnosis, I went to the hospital with Ian and my sister by my side, to listen to the news I was almost expecting, the consultant said I'm really sorry its cancer - my reaction I didn't cry I think over the last week I had already prepared myself for the worst news possible they thought there were two small masses however they couldn't be sure as when they do a mammogram in women under fifty, breast tissue is quite dense so they can't always see cancer properly.

The consultant explained that because of how the cancer was sitting inside my breast, there were two small masses about two centimetres apart surrounded by microcalcifications (the beginnings of more cancer)

The Consultant thought that I would need to have a full mastectomy,  However, she wanted to be sure and said they were going to send me for an MRI which would give them a much more accurate view of what they were actually dealing with because of my young age if they could they would rather just perform a lumpectomy where they remove only the part with cancer so my boob would be saved.

The consultant had also organised blood to be taken an ECG and my pre-operation talk I was given leaflets, for practically everything I needed to know about breast cancer and a special folder to keep it all in, but no actual specific treatment plan yet.

I have no idea what they were talking about at that point it was just all too much my mind was drifting fixated on the folder, ironically I was thinking the last time I had a special folder and this many appointments I was having the twins, how I wish I could go back to then, I was so happy, now I just don't know what to think or feel I don't want a bloody operation nor do I want any treatment I just want it all to go away.

The Hospital said they're ninety percent sure I have Breast Cancer

Wednesday the 3rd of July

My Appointment is at the hospital, this time I had no kids to take with me, my mum and dad had offered to look after the girls for me and the boys were at school. My appointment was nice and early 9.30 I arrived, they promptly called me through to see the consultant, she was really lovely the staff told me to change into a gown which,  I did she examined my breast and felt the lump, smiled she said

"well there is no history of cancer in your family, you are young and fit I am quite sure it will be a cyst or fatty tissue, we will get you an ultrasound and if everything looks ok you will be discharged from there"

I was quite happy I went and waited outside the room to be called in.

I didn't have to wait long before I was called into the ultrasound room, once in the room, they asked me if I knew which breast that needed looking at?  I said yes the Left breast, they began the scan I say because there were two people looking at the screen they were pointing and sighing and zooming in and out, I couldn't really see what they were looking at or hear what they were saying they scanned booth breasts the person taking the ultrasound then turned to me and said

"we're not sure at the moment what we are looking at we want you to have a mammogram and come back to us after".

At this point, I felt nervous I dint understand what they had seen or why they were not discharging me, I'm 36 it cant be surely more than an abscess, fatty tissue or a cyst so off I went for the mammogram it wasn't really painful like some people had said just really uncomfortable and the room was freezing which didn't help matters.

Once the mammogram had all been done, it was back to the ultrasound room when I went inside they were both examining the mammogram they then explained to me what was going on, they told me that they were 90% sure that what the scans had shown up was something suspicious but they couldn't be sure without taking tissue samples, they then asked to take a biopsy an ultrasound-guided biopsy to be precise they also wanted to put a marker in my breast in case they needed to scan it again, I agreed.

It began, it was horrible anaesthetic first then they took approximately six biopsies all I could think was it can't be cancer I am only 36, what about the kids? how the hell am I going to cope with the kids and being ill who was going to look after them?

I could feel hot tears trickling down my face one of the radiographers pulled a tissue out the box and wiped my cheek, I couldn't speak I was really trying to be brave at that moment I didn't want to cry in front of these strangers, the biopsies seemed to go on for a lifetime all I could think was I just want to go home. When I came out of the ultrasound room.

I went running into my little sister's arms crying, she had been patiently waiting outside for me, I don't think she knew what to think or to say, I'm the one who has always looked after her and now she was taking my worries, trying to be the strong one, I didn't like the feeling at all, the radiographer moved us into a private room the tears didn't last long I don't think id really taken it all in.

Afterwards, I had to see the consultant again and do you know what? she apologised, apologised for saying she was confident it was nothing this time she had another lady with her in a different uniform a deep blue uniform, I looked at her name badge it said breast cancer specialist nurse, the consultant told me she would see me a week from this day with the results and left the room.

The nurse looked at me and said do you understand what you have just been told and I said

"Shes Telling Me I Have Cancer"

The nurse just looked at me and said I'm not going to sugar coat it yes she is but we have to wait for the official results first.

The rest is a blur I didn't really hear anything else I just kept looking at the clock and the door.

I had been at the hospital three hours I was in pain with my boob my brain could not process any more information, I wanted to go home and couldn't get out quick enough.

When I got home I was like a robot, I told my Mum and Dad they cried in fact I rang or messaged most of my close friends or family not really thinking about what I was saying just repeating the same story over and over talking about it like it is something I had watched on the TV my brain wasn't processing things, I was starting to get cross, people were saying how sorry they were and crying, I just wasn't taking it seriously, I was just saying don't worry I'm honestly fine and really I was.

I was fine until about four days  after my appointment, after googling and googling my symptoms I just got really mad I went up into the bedroom and started throwing things around for no reason, then I cried, and I cried and I cried to the point where I felt like I couldn't breathe and everything hurt, I cried until I fell asleep.

The next day I decided that ninety per cent perhaps wasn't enough of a percentage, they could have still got it wrong, couldn't they? after all the NHS do get things wrong,  I rang the Breast care nurses and asked them what the percentage was of them getting things wrong, she wasn't very helpful she said the radiographers don't usually get things wrong (well she was really helpful she just didn't say the words I wanted her too) my mind went into overdrive if I wasn't thinking about cancer I was googling it, talking about it crying about it thinking about my life, was I going to survive? who would look after the kids if I didn't?

These stupid thoughts came and went I needed to wait for the results everything crossed the professionals were wrong!

 

I Found a "Lump"

I'm a nurse so you think I would be hot on checking for lumps and bumps etc but actually, I'm not with five children, a home to keep clean and a job to hold down, Its not something that takes priority. However, this particular night I had maybe ten minutes in the bath to be with my own thoughts, you know the time as a parent when there are no little people coming into poo or wee or just generally to tell you about some random story about school or how their brother/sister has stolen their toys breathed their air.

At that moment, that moment to myself I had a stabbing pain into my boob, which made me screw my face up in pain, it also made me recall how perhaps a few days ago or last week I had, had the same pain, I WAS going to investigate but something had always got in my way, the pain  at that specific moment was a great reminder I remember someone telling me that breast should be almost symmetrical in feelings, a lump in one should be present in the other as I examined my boobies gently next to my nipple there was a hard lump I checked the other boob and there was definitely only the one lump I pushed and prodded it a bit and actually it didn't hurt, I wasn't really worried, to be honest.

I mentioned it to Ian and he said you better get it checked out, of course, I was going to in a few days after I had done a million other tasks made a million other phone calls.

About five days had come and gone by the time I actually got round to phoning the doctors, I wasn't really phased by the lump, I rang the doctors and explained that I had found a lump the receptionist was far from sympathetic said it was probably nothing but would book me an appointment for in a couple of days, I get that doctors receptionists like all NHS workers are probably overworked, underpaid and is probably fed up of Doreen from down the road coming in with a runny nose or little Timmy,s  mum ringing for an emergency appointment because the have an infected nail bed where they keep biting them but honestly if they don't have the patience, sympathy or ability to be tactful they should seriously find another bloody job!

Thursday 20th June 2019 

My doctor's appointment is at 10am, Ok I know it's important but I would rather be at playgroup socialising or cleaning, I didn't have time to go home for the car, I have had to walk straight down after the school run with the twins, as usual, the morning chaos has made me forget to bring the girls cups out and a snack to keep them quiet (Don't judge me you don't know kiddie scraps until you have two, two-year-olds fighting) Luckily for once I had got my purse and there is a Co-op right next door to the doctors, I got them drinks and a small pack of chocolate kinder bars I anticipated one for the waiting room plus drink and one for the actual examination room.

After waiting for what seemed like forever with two getting ratty little girls, finally, my name was lit up on the board room 8 upstairs, here we go so somehow now I have got to navigate myself in a lift, not just any lift one of those shitty types that you have to hold your finger on the button that barely has enough room for myself and the double pushchair it keeps telling me light ray activated by the time we reach the top I feel like smashing the lift, out of the lift we go along the corridor the pushchair handles scraping along the wall because they are only just wide enough to fit.

Finally, we reach room 8, I knock on the door trying to push the pushchair in...... It doesn't fit through the bloody door, I have to get both the girls out the pushchair at which point they have both decided actually we don't want to be in this room and we don't like the doctor so we're now both just going to scream cling to mummy like monkeys and we don't want that chocolate you bought us were just going to scream louder in unison when you try to talk to us or reason with us.

At this point I just wish I hadn't come I'm trying to talk over the noise I explain to the doctor why I was visiting the doctor tells me to undress which somehow I manage to do prising one twin off then the other and sitting cuddling them both either side of me on the examination table, the doctor examines me I feel so vulnerable I think I would somehow prefer a smear test sitting half-naked with two screaming children is not a look Id go for again in a rush.

The doctor's verdict "your 36 no pain I anticipate its a cyst or fatty tissue I'm not concerned"
He went on to say they would refer me to the breast clinic because its what they "had to do"
I wasn't concerned either I just wanted to get dressed and get out its probably one of the worst GP visits I have had just because of how much hassle it was.

I didn't really think about the lump and I had tried to forget the GP appointment, the hospital appointment dropped through the door around five days later.

I have decided to blog my hospital experience and appointment in my next post as its another quite long one.

Bissell Stain remover - The Twelve Stain's of Christmas

With five children to clean up after and a larger than life family, spills on the carpet are inevitable this Christmas with the kids and chocolate or my sister and her red wine it is bound to happen and I'm not looking forward to the clean up but carpet stains are going to be a thing of the past with Bissell this year with there simple yet effective cleaning solutions to get us through the twelve stains of Christmas .

The 12 stains of Christmas 

• Chocolate
• Glitter and Glue
• Mulled wine
• Gravy 
• Dog urine 
• Pine needles 
• Cranberry sauce
• Fat and grease 
• Mud, puddles and grass stains 
• Eggnog
• Soot

We were challenged to put through its paces the Bissell cordless stain eraser it is lightweight easy to use and to be honest the results of the stain eraser were very very impressive.

We couldn't try out all the 12 stain's of Christmas - the stains we tested were red wine, gravy, and chocolate as these are the most likely stains in our house to occur this Christmas the kids are always dropping chocolate and I'm sure the gravy will be dripping from a plate onto the carpet - we are unfortunate in that our living room is our dining room as well so the carpet tends to get the brunt of the droppings.

We were sent a piece of carpet to try out the stains on I was actually quite glad about this as I'm a bit of a sceptic when it comes to cleaning I never believe things will actually clean as they say they should do I started off by spilling the products as if they had been dropped, I cleaned them with a damp cloth as I normally would do with spills then I set to work with the Bissell stain remover.

The Bissell Stain remover is really easy to use. before you can use it you have to charge it for at least 8 hours overnight. It comes with an easy to follow set of instructions and a trial sized spot remover and boost for those more difficult stains and odour removal the manual recommends spraying the stain first leaving for a few minutes then sucking up the stain there is also a brush on the actual machine to rub the stain remover in with.

Both the chocolate and gravy came up a treat the red wine was slightly more difficult to get up but it did remove the stain really well I have never successfully removed a red wine stain so I was very impressed that it worked even if it was a tough little stain it seemed to prove no match for the Bissell stain remover.

The Bissell stain remover is lightweight portable and easy to use the only issue I had was working the chamber where you fill it with water and spot remover once I had worked this out the rest was a doddle, I liked that whilst using the machine you could watch the water changing colour it gave me a sense of satisfaction the machine was doing its job properly.

The Bissel stain remover is definitely a must-have this Christmas and will come in handy for parties family gatherings or even if you are Christmas crafting with the kids as it removes glitter and glue it's a practical piece of equipment that will vanish all those messy spills that are very likely to happen  this Christmas and all year round. 

The BISSELL Stain Eraser is available from BISSELL Direct with a 15 and 30-minute run time and an RRP of £99.99 and £109.99, respectively.

For more information about BISSELL’s range of products please visit www.bisselldirect.co.uk or follow BISSELL UK on Facebook and Twitter.

we were sent the amazing Bissell stain remover to test out tough hard to remove stains all opinions remain honest and my own.

Pregnancy - Planing the drive to the Hospital with Kia Stonic

I'm sure most mums whilst pregnant and pre-labour are guilty of this, We make plans to pack a changing bag, an overnight bag we decorate the nursery and prepare by buying baby equipment but how many of us actually plan the route to the hospital how are you going to get there when those labour pains set in? This is where your partner/ birthing partner can step in to help.

To celebrate the launch of the All-New Kia Stonic Urban Crossover, Kia is hosting a new test drive initiative introduced to help dads-to-be practice for the transition to fatherhood, covering everything from the drive to the hospital to the dreaded first car seat fitting. This was something that myself and Ian didn't really think about when I was pregnant with the twins and I'm sure most couples can relate to this, I got Ian to try out the challenges to see how he measured up! I was invited along a week or so ago to Leicester road Mountsorrel Loughborough dealership to test drive the New Kia Stonic, and found it to be an amazing car!

Before the actual test drive we took part in a series of challenges the first was similar to a treasure hunt except each clue led to something that you would need for a complete changing bag - the pressure was on, similar to the pressure you would feel if your partner was going into labour and you had to pack a real changing bag it was great fun working out the clues which were cleverly Placed around the dealership each one leading to another thing that belonged in the bag it was timed - I don't think Ian was that quick although the changing bag quite suited him! 

The second was the dreaded fitting of the car seat - it was again timed and Ian really struggled to get this in even though when we go out and about now he fits two car seats into our car he is a pro - but I think it was the pressure of being timed, it is so, so important you know how the car seat fits into the car when you go into labour and before you leave the hospital. Make sure you and your birthing partner or daddy to be knows how the car seat fits.

If you follow my blog regularly you will know I only passed my driving test just over a month ago so I went to the test drive with the full intention that there was no way I was going to drive the car (I hadn't driven since I passed). With a bit of gentle persuasion I decided that I would give it a go and do you know what I am actually so glad I did, I passed my test in a fairly new car so I thought that the Kia Stonic couldn't be much different - I was wrong it was so much better.

When I realised I had to reverse out of the Kia dealership I was really nervous  The reverse camera system with dynamic lines came on in front of me on the screen which made it all the more easier to reverse it is also there to help you park. The mirrors have sensors on them so you know if you are getting too close to another car or a white line, central reservation or even if you are trying to change lanes too soon. I actually felt like a celebrity, The interior throughout the Kia Stonic has a real sporty feel to it. This car has all the features of a family car yet it is super stylish, classy and smooth drive. 

If you love gadgets like my partner does this car is packed with them if you have an Apple phone or android you can syncronise your music or sat nav (which is in built) I always find a car is a place where you actually get to decide what music you want to listen to if your going to have a slick car like this you may as well make great use of the alone time with the music of your choice, however I can also see it would come in handy with a new born and white noise or nursery rhymes playing to soothe a crying baby. The car is great for the tech lover it also has other great features, Autonomous emergency braking, Reversing camera system with dynamic guidelines DAB radio and Hill start assist.

I'm not great with technology and gadgets but I do love styling things my own and the Kia Stonic comes in an array of bright colours you can choose which colour combinations you would like, which is a feature that I personally love. The seats are really comfortable and heated too which is exactly what you need at this time of year along with the steering wheel being heated which is great for the cold winter mornings. The steering wheel was really light and easy to move. 

When I went for the test drive I took one of my little ones with me I noticed there was plenty of room in the back for one car seat or even three - like a bigger family might need. The car itself is very quiet and smooth to drive it has a good power behind it even though it only has a one litre engine, for a brand new car I thought it was very reasonably priced and comes with a seven-year warranty which is fab so no need to worry about the car which is a great thing if you are a parent its peace of mind that you know at least one thing is always going to be reliable. The boot isn't huge but there is plenty enough space for a pushchair I did have a close look and I am almost positive you would be able to get my double in it.

I can honestly say this car is definitely made to keep parents in mind espcially ones that feel like they are not quite ready to grow up yet, it is a very cool car, that is a great all rounder, it would be great for first time parents that love the modern car, unfortunately for us and our family of seven the car just wouldn't be big enough for all of us, but I would definitely think about having this as a second car just to run around in the day time as it would be plenty big enough for myself the twins and Jack.

If you are looking for a car that is cool stylish yet practical for parenting the Kia Stonic ticks all the boxes and is definitely for you, Don't miss out book your test drive today!  

Daddy Day Car All-New Kia Stonic test drives test drives will be taking place at selected Kia dealerships in November. While places are limited, customers wishing to take part can contact kiadealer@kazoo.co.uk to inquire about their nearest dealership and book a slot. For more information on the All-New Kia Stonic please visit www.kia.co.uk/stonic

*In collaboration with Kia

LinkIt! A Game For all the Family

We were sent a brilliant new card game to try out its called LinkIt is a game for all the family Its a card based game and comes complete with instructions and packed in a fabulous round storage tin the perfect size to just pop into one of the kids bags or into your own bag which makes it a great game to keep handy when you are on the move say if you were going on holiday on the train or aeroplane this will keep the kids busy for hours especially if they are competitive like my boys! 

There are four different versions of the game, I'm not going to lie when I first picked up the instructions out of the tin I thought "wow" this seems complicated when in actual fact the rules of the games are fairly easy for me to understand but the question was would the boys pick it up?

Each game version depends on the number of people playing and their different ages. This is the type of game that anyone can be the winner and it doesn't matter about their age as it is impossible to cheat or have a game plan.

The game requires you to spot links between each deck of cards but you have to be fast to be able to win the game. The game is very addictive and the boys found it hard to put it down once they knew how to play LinkIt, the great thing about the game is that all players turn their cards at the same time which saves the endless squabbles about who gets to go first.

Although there are four different games you can play we found the first one was the easiest to play I think over time as the boys grow I will teach them the other versions as they didn't want me to teach them the other games because they were having far too much fun playing this game.

The game is really basic the winner is the one that manages to get rid of all there cards first, there are two decks of cards an orange set and a blue set, the orange set is placed in the centre and the blue set is shared out between the players. First you turn over a card in the centre then you all turn over the first card on the top of your personal pile and its the first person to match the link and that is able to get rid of their cards that becomes the winner, The Links are things such as milk and a cow or mouse and cheese, sounds easy right .... but even I struggled the boys were far better than me at matching the links and far quicker I don't ever think I have got rid of my baby brain!

The game doesn't take that long to play, I think the longest it took to play a game was around 20 minutes however it could be over within five if you are really fast with it.

It was so much fun playing together I love how competitive the boys got I also love how much it makes your brain work without knowing it, it was really educational for the boys even my two-year-old was trying to join in.

Overall I loved the game Linkit and so did the boys it is a great game to play on rainy days, school holidays, on the go when the kids need entertaining it would also make a great stocking filler because of how compact it is which is another reason why I love it, it fits perfectly into my handbag making it really easy to transport I can see this really helping to improve children's vocabulary and also improve their concentration as it is a great brain trainer.

LinkIt is aimed at children 6+ and is available to buy HERE from Amazon priced at £11.95. 

Sudocrem - A Letter to you

Dear Sudocrem,

So far you have been in my life for fifteen or more years. We were first introduced when I started working as a healthcare assistant in your dull grey pot a brilliance of brightness once opened with your thick white ways you could always soothe a bottom, a sore, most things were no match for you.

Then I discovered that not only were you used to soothe the most intimate places you could be used as a sunburn healer an acne healer an anecdote for eczema. In my days before children, before sharing a bed with someone, I would coat myself in a thick layer of you and wake up with a softer face one that was ready to face the world.

Since we first met oh how you have evolved, you were the first thing I knew I could rely on when my son was born nearly eight years ago, then came Sudocrem Care and protect in its smaller more modern looking tube - not as thick and bright as my old faithful but amazing to say the least you were there tucked away in every hospital bag I packed ready for their imminent births you were there first to protect with your hypoallergenic triple care ointment with just newborns in mind and then it was back to the old faithful to soothe their skin if they had been in the sun a little too long, you were there when they were teething and there skin was red and angry, you were there for my youngest son when his eczema flared up, you have been with us through many ups and downs in my life and parenting journey. I knew I could always rely on you and you could rely on me to recommend you to friends and family in there hours of need. It has been a long and emotional journey that still isn't over yet the twins are babies and the boys still need you, in fact, we all still need you for many years to come with your healing powers.

We have many more memories to make in our lives as a family and you are certainly an important part of our family, you are invaluable so we want to thank you Sudocrem for always being there for working your magic and making life just that little bit easier.

Sudocrem care and protect - helps to care for your babies delicate skin protecting it against the causes of nappy rash it's gentle and light so it simply glides onto newborn babies skin and can be used as part of your everyday routine at nappy change time.

You can read more about Sudocrem on my review over here its priced at around £4.00 a tube and is available to buy from all good supermarkets and chemists.

Veeno Italian wine cafe Leicester Wine Tasting Experience

We were kindly invited to visit Veeno Italian wine cafe in Leicester for a wine tasting experience, to be quite honest before this invite, I didn't know this gorgeous little place existed, we accepted the invitation as it was a great excuse for a date night as we never really go out without the kids just the two of us!

The History of Veeno.

It started off with two Italian guys who shared a passion for relaxing with drinks and nibbles after a long day at work. This soon evolved to include their friends and family and before long they opened their very first Veeno – an amazing Italian wine cafe a place to enjoy great wine and various platters of meats, cheeses and other appetisers known as ‘Spuntini’.

The day before we visited (We choose a Saturday night to visit) Veeno the wine cafe sent us an e-mail, saying they were looking forward to our visit and it had a brief history of the business which I thought was a really nice touch, there was also an option to re-book in case we couldn't make it the following day which was nice as well it makes things hassle free if you are thinking of making a booking and then something comes up unexpectedly.

On approach to Veeno the wine cafe it looked really cosy from the outside it had pretty twinkling white lights hanging in the window there was also a small seating area outside for the warmer weather.

Inside we were greeted with a relaxed atmosphere it was really busy, but not too crowded it was cosy The interior of Veeno Leicester – St Martins Square is beautiful. On closer inspection of the website, it seems Each Veeno has a similar theme throughout in that it always has twinkling white lights hanging in the window. With a wooden theme and bottle/cork decorations, the venue really has a warm and friendly feel to it.

We approached the counter and I told them we had a table booked for seven the staff were really friendly they explained that the table wasn't quite ready and we ordered drinks whilst we waited they were very friendly and accommodating. Which I thought was amazing as often sometimes in venues you find on a Saturday night that staff are so rushed off their feet they forget the small, but still very important parts of hospitality.

We didn't have to wait long for our table and to be seated by our host and wine-expert for the evening which was a lady, now very rude of me but I didn't quite catch her name and at the end of the evening I still didn't catch it but she was an amazing help and host.

They left us for a short while to get settled into our seats and drink some of our drinks we had already bought the host then brought over the bottles of wine that we would be tasting that evening there were two white, a rose, and two reds I wasn't sure how this would work I was worried that we would be sniffing and spitting wine but it turns out you get a glass wine from each bottle - of course you don't have to drink the whole glass!

Veeno offers three various options for their Wine-tasting, their ‘Classic’ option, the ‘Blind’ option and the ‘Selezione’ wine-tasting experience. The Selezione option was the option we experienced and It made up of some more of their premium wines.

The host then brought over a beautifully presented platter and our first glasses of white wine, she explained to us that each thing on the platter was meticulously paired with one of the wines in the experience and to try not to eat all the food and save something of each thing on there with to try with each individual wine, so at this stage the platter was really just to observe, despite the temptation to tuck-in and eat it all right away!

I don't think I should go into to much detail about the wine or what each individual ‘Spuntini’ (part of the platter) that they were paired with its better if you go and try it for yourself as I would hate to get it wrong  as much as I learned a lot recalling everything from memory is difficult and I am not a wine expert plus it would spoil the fun. What I will tell you is that our host was an absolute expert in her knowledge of the wines on offer. She gave us plenty of interesting knowledge and insight into each individual wine getting us to describe them and asking us what we thought of each one and the wines pairing.It was really interesting, not too full on and made the experience very unique personal and exciting

We were very well-looked after by our host and after each wine and food-combination pairing, we were given some time before our host returned. I think this is important it gave us time to chat and savour the flavours and the wine, Veeno got it spot-on. Even though this was a paid-for experience to learn more about the wines and to take in Veeno, for us it was still very much a much-needed date night for just us and I am so glad we were given enough time to ourselves to make the most of the of the great atmosphere and enjoy what was in front of us.

To top off the evening we were offered either a large slice of Tiramisu or lemon sorbet we choose the lemon sorbet which was beautifully paired with this delicious sweet wine Tagos Grillo, and a Limoncello shot.

Of course, it’s not just wine on offer here. There are oodles of cocktails to choose from and coffees too. While we were there, people were just popping in for a glass of wine or a quiet Saturday night drink.

Thank you so much to Veeno Leicesters for inviting us along and hosting such a wonderful evening for us. The wine tasting experience is such a great night out it would be perfect for celebrations such as birthdays or anniversaries I could also picture having a work get together doing something like this it is really enjoyable. The Selezione experience in particular costs £26.90 per person. Veeno is a fast-growing brand and there’s currently 14 Veeno’s across the UK, so if you are near one I would highly recommend visiting and trying it out for yourself. Check out their website to find out more or book you experience www.theveenocompany.com

We were kindly given the opportunity to visit Veeno for the purpose of this review all opinions remain honest and my own.

Blackbird Sizzling Pub & Grill Leicester

In the Heart of the city,  just a stone's throw away from the huge city park Abbey Park and around the corner from popular superstores Smythe's toys, B&Q and the ever popular space centre,

There Is The Blackbird Sizzling Pub & Grill Leicester. A Substantially sized pub offering more than you expect, there is a small kids corner to keep the children entertained and you can have a pint whilst watching the sports and having a drink, and there is a fair sized dining area where you can feast on great family priced pub grub.

I have been to the Blackbird pub before - but since I last visited it has had a big refurbishment and a brand new menu, I wasn't sure what to expect when we arrived I noticed that the outside looked fresh modern and sleek - on the inside the theme carried on throughout I noticed the pub was fairly tidy we waited to be greeted, as the table had already been booked however it was a while before anyone acknowledged us and the table had not been booked in by the manager, however, the staff were quite apologetic.

Once we had been seated at the table, I looked over the new style menu there was a very good choice of food both for adults and children there was also a good range of vegetarian options available, that were all clearly marked on the menu with a green V on the menu it took quite sometime for us all to choose what we were going to eat as there was a vast amount of choice, there were quite a few options for starters but we decided not to have a starter as the kids tend not to eat there dinner if they have a starter first, it was straight onto the main course.

I choose the BBQ hunters a chicken (£5.49) - A grilled chicken fillet topped with bacon, BBQ sauce and Monterey Jack Cheese, served with seasoned chips and a half a grilled tomato. Ian Choose the Sizzling Lamb Kofta Kebabs (£8.79) - Grilled lamb koftas served with warm naan bread, tomato and onion salsa, cooling minted sour cream and hot peri-peri chilli sauce, my sister also came along with us she opted for the classic cod and chips (£6.99) hand - battered line caught cod with seasoned chips and mushy peas. The two younger boys opted for the nuggets and chips and peas (£2.99) its a mix and match kids menu so they have the choice of various mains, veg and a side and Liam the oldest chose Pizza it was served on its only as requested as its all he will eat.

The food came out very well presented on their plates and not to disappoint mine was sizzling away the chicken was succulent and very mouthwateringly tasty, the barbecue sauce was very flavoursome and the chips were chunky, cooked just right. Ian and my sister were pleased with their meals too the only thing that was negatively said was that there wasn't enough mushy peas with the cod, however, the waitress would have fetched some more if required but the fish was filling enough.  The boys were all very content with there meals there were no complaints, in fact, the kid's portions were nearly as big as the adult portions and the boys struggled to finish them.

Once we had finished the boys were asking if we could have pudding, of course, we were going to have pudding it's the best part! I chose the chocolate fudge cake (£4.19), served with vanilla ice cream and Belgium chocolate sauce, Ian had the treacle sponge pudding (£2.79), served with custard and vanilla ice cream and my sister had the strawboffee pie (£3.49), a shortbread base layered with caramel, strawberry compote and vanilla cream topped with dried strawberries served with Devon toffee sauce. The three boys had the build your own sundae (£1.29) build a masterpiece! two scoops of vanilla ice cream with dairy milk buttons, marshmallows, milk chocolate pieces and chocolate sauce.

The puddings were absolutely divine and the chocolate fudge cake was enormous as a chocoholic myself even I struggled to finish the beast of a cake off but I soon had some help from the boy's none of that was going to waste! There is a great range of desserts available to choose from something to suit all tastes.

The staff in the Blackbird were very polite and accommodating, the spaces between tables were good we managed to fit the double pushchair in behind us and not feel like we were imposing on anyone else's dining space or them ours and there was quite a bit of room to move round in the pub meaning it was alright for the boys to be walking up and down to the kids corner which is a small area not that well equipped but the boys seemed entertained by it. The Blackbird has a huge car park and an outside seating area which is nice it also has a couple of benches especially for the kids which I thought was a nice touch my only suggestion would be that it could do with a fence or something around it as it opens up onto the car park.

Food is served up until 10pm which I think is great so if you have been out or if you are hungry later in the evening there is no rush its handy to know - especially with late night shopping coming up, Christmas and the huge firework display at abbey park coming up its ideal for a late night dinner or snack it really is a great menu so there is something to suit all!

Overall was it the best meal I have ever had the answer to that is no, however, the pub offers a great family atmosphere it really is amazing value for money we dined six of us, three adults, three children, all had deserts and drinks and it came to just under £50 you cant get value like that in many places will we be visiting again? the answer to that is yes definitely we would eat there again if you would like to check out the menu for yourself you can see that here it's well worth popping on the site or signing up by e-mail as you will be able to see and hear about the special offers they have on before you give them a visit yourself.

We were given a voucher to try and review the yummy food at the Blackbird Sizzling pub & Grill all opinions remain honest and my own. 

Babies #Blogtober2017

It's a short but sweet post for #Blogtober2017 from me today the theme for today is babies I was lucky enough to have five babies and here they are,


Liam my first baby boy born weighing 7lb9 born in 2010 he is clever and intrigued by the world diagnosed with ASD a few years ago but It does not define him and he never ceases to amaze me!

Adam the smallest of my boys born weighing 7lb1 in 2011 he is a little diva he loves to dance loves attention and thinks he is the boss of the house but he is really caring and kind and is quick to help me most of the time.

Jack my biggest baby born in 2015 weighing 8lb5 and a half, he is possibly the loudest child you would meet amazingly bright and talks so well for his age he is so big though he looks like a four-year-old rather than two!

Demi-Rose and Eva-Jen weighing 5lb2 and 5lb9 Demi-rose is actually three minutes older than Eva-Jen even though she was the smallest, my two little princesses are both getting their own personalities and growing so fast they are both such happy little girls!