Monday 29 July 2019

I Found a "Lump"

I'm a nurse so you think I would be hot on checking for lumps and bumps etc but actually, I'm not with five children, a home to keep clean and a job to hold down, Its not something that takes priority. However, this particular night I had maybe ten minutes in the bath to be with my own thoughts, you know the time as a parent when there are no little people coming into poo or wee or just generally to tell you about some random story about school or how their brother/sister has stolen their toys breathed their air.

At that moment, that moment to myself I had a stabbing pain into my boob, which made me screw my face up in pain, it also made me recall how perhaps a few days ago or last week I had, had the same pain, I WAS going to investigate but something had always got in my way, the pain  at that specific moment was a great reminder I remember someone telling me that breast should be almost symmetrical in feelings, a lump in one should be present in the other as I examined my boobies gently next to my nipple there was a hard lump I checked the other boob and there was definitely only the one lump I pushed and prodded it a bit and actually it didn't hurt, I wasn't really worried, to be honest.

I mentioned it to Ian and he said you better get it checked out, of course, I was going to in a few days after I had done a million other tasks made a million other phone calls.

About five days had come and gone by the time I actually got round to phoning the doctors, I wasn't really phased by the lump, I rang the doctors and explained that I had found a lump the receptionist was far from sympathetic said it was probably nothing but would book me an appointment for in a couple of days, I get that doctors receptionists like all NHS workers are probably overworked, underpaid and is probably fed up of Doreen from down the road coming in with a runny nose or little Timmy,s  mum ringing for an emergency appointment because the have an infected nail bed where they keep biting them but honestly if they don't have the patience, sympathy or ability to be tactful they should seriously find another bloody job!

Thursday 20th June 2019 

My doctor's appointment is at 10am, Ok I know it's important but I would rather be at playgroup socialising or cleaning, I didn't have time to go home for the car, I have had to walk straight down after the school run with the twins, as usual, the morning chaos has made me forget to bring the girls cups out and a snack to keep them quiet (Don't judge me you don't know kiddie scraps until you have two, two-year-olds fighting) Luckily for once I had got my purse and there is a Co-op right next door to the doctors, I got them drinks and a small pack of chocolate kinder bars I anticipated one for the waiting room plus drink and one for the actual examination room.

After waiting for what seemed like forever with two getting ratty little girls, finally, my name was lit up on the board room 8 upstairs, here we go so somehow now I have got to navigate myself in a lift, not just any lift one of those shitty types that you have to hold your finger on the button that barely has enough room for myself and the double pushchair it keeps telling me light ray activated by the time we reach the top I feel like smashing the lift, out of the lift we go along the corridor the pushchair handles scraping along the wall because they are only just wide enough to fit.

Finally, we reach room 8, I knock on the door trying to push the pushchair in...... It doesn't fit through the bloody door, I have to get both the girls out the pushchair at which point they have both decided actually we don't want to be in this room and we don't like the doctor so we're now both just going to scream cling to mummy like monkeys and we don't want that chocolate you bought us were just going to scream louder in unison when you try to talk to us or reason with us.

At this point I just wish I hadn't come I'm trying to talk over the noise I explain to the doctor why I was visiting the doctor tells me to undress which somehow I manage to do prising one twin off then the other and sitting cuddling them both either side of me on the examination table, the doctor examines me I feel so vulnerable I think I would somehow prefer a smear test sitting half-naked with two screaming children is not a look Id go for again in a rush.

The doctor's verdict "your 36 no pain I anticipate its a cyst or fatty tissue I'm not concerned"
He went on to say they would refer me to the breast clinic because its what they "had to do"
I wasn't concerned either I just wanted to get dressed and get out its probably one of the worst GP visits I have had just because of how much hassle it was.

I didn't really think about the lump and I had tried to forget the GP appointment, the hospital appointment dropped through the door around five days later.

I have decided to blog my hospital experience and appointment in my next post as its another quite long one.


1 comment

  1. Oh Helen, whilst it's great to see you back writing, I wish it wasn't under these circumstances. I eagerly await the next installment hoping that everything is OK xxx


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