Liam - Autism (ASD) the signs and whats happening now?

Its just over two weeks since Liam had his diagnosis of ASD - or Autistic spectrum disorder, you may be thinking what does that mean now? or what even is Autism? I thought I would tell you a little bit more about Autism - well what I have found out so far, and keep you updated on whats actually happening with Liam because its tough, it really is tough when you hear someone give you a diagnosis for your child, you feel alone, I think in that moment you can feel like the only person in the world that has a child that has autism and sometimes you just don't really know what to do next.



What I know so far about ASD and its traits, 

The signs and symptoms have always been there with Liam, I guess he is like a puzzle though, the diagnosis is about putting all his symptoms together, all his little ticks if you like and placing them in the right boxes to give him the right diagnosis here are the signs of Autism.

• Does not play with other children - Liam finds it very difficult to mix with children, he doesn't have any so to speak established friendships  and finds communication difficult.

• Joins in only if an adult insists and assists - What I mean by this is, he finds it difficult to be a part of things if he isn't encouraged, he would much rather be on his own.

• Indicates his needs by using someone else's hand - again communication can be very difficult for him and sometimes it finds it really difficult to display what he is thinking, so he will take you to what he wants or will point using my hands, instead of his own.  

• Inappropriate laughing and giggling - Liam displays this a lot when he is hurt he will laugh instead of crying, when he is happy he will sometimes behave like he is distressed.

• Lack of creative and pretend play - Liam hates dressing up he will only do it when he is really encouraged too and he isn't very creative either although a little encouragement sometimes goes a long way - even though by choice he would do none of the above.

• Variety is not the spice of life - he hates change anything from clothes to routines to room changes he cant manage with it it sends his anxiety through the roof - for example the living room was decorated at Easter - he is still asking for the old carpet back.

• Talks a lot about one topic -  Liam does this a lot things that he loves and knows a lot about he will talk for hours about - but only when he feels like it.

• Inappropriate eye contact - This is very true of Liam, he doesn't make eye contact a lot and when he does it is very fleeting.

• bizarre behaviour - Liam often does things that are very different to what a "normal" child would do for instance he will randomly lick objects or walls, floors, he will still chew toys and his clothes and sometimes find it very difficult to follow instructions.

• Echolactic - this means he copies things like a parrot, not all the time but he does do it.

This is what I have learnt so far and as you can see Liam fits all the boxes, autism is incurable, but with the right support at the right times, this will hopefully make an enormous difference to his life.
what happens now? Liam has been referred to nutritional services as he is obsessive about foods and different textures he just wont try new things but this is all to do with having heightened senses. As for the paediatrician he will not be seeing her anymore he has been refereed back to his GP which means anything he now needs his doctor will be the first person who we will be visiting.

How do I feel now? 

I feel disappointed I feel as though we were given his diagnosis and have just been left to deal with it I fell like we are no better off for having it, where are the support groups? or the classes to learn how we can make his life easier or better?  really I feel we are no further forward - but I am going to make it my mission to find out where the services are hiding and where the support is for parents - I will keep you updated.

What are services like in your area? what are your thoughts on being given a diagnosis and then just left to deal with it I would love to hear your thoughts.

#WordlessWednesday

#MySundayPhoto

This week has been a difficult week all round, but I am so proud of Liam's achievements on returning to school.

We finally have a diagnosis, Liam's Story

I have sat down to write this post tonight and I don't really know where to start....... back in June I shared Liam's journey so far it has been years of appointments, different pediatricians, cancellations of appointments and at school Liam is Just getting worse I shared in July the fact that Liam was suspended much to my disappointment ... The whole journey has been an up and down roller coaster ride and we have been waiting for today's appointment since before the summer holidays. The health visitor had already warned me that Liam Didn't fit into any sort of "box" his behaviours were to complicated and to complex.

After a long meeting today with Liams school teacher, educational psychologist, paediatrician, health visitor and teacher acting on behalf of Senco. The paediatrician listened hard to everything everyone had to say and was writing lots of things down. She had made her decision about Liam he has ASD Autistic spectrum disorder with some anxiety.

Although I had my suspicions and suspected this would be the case in that moment I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I guess its different speculating than someone out right telling you that your child has autism - I think a small part of me was hoping that I was wrong that he was just a "typical boy" or maybe even just a bit naughty. but its not the case, I think I'm still slightly shocked, still feeling broken hearted when it is your child you want to wrap your child up make them better but autism isn't a disease or an illness you cant make your child better its a life long journey or battle in some cases.

Autism - is a world of the unknown for us as a family but I am learning something new about it everyday.

A Letter to you Liam 

My beautiful son Liam, 

Today was the day you were diagnosed with ASD, I know life is going to be tough for you, but I know with a diagnosis now you will get the support you will need it will open lots of doors for you, I know there will be so many opportunities for you to get the right support you need to help you to cope with life itself.

I am hoping this diagnosis, will help us to understand you more and to help you as you get older understand yourself, I realise that everyday is difficult for you, you find it hard to make friends and for you Liam variety is definitely not the spice of Life. but listen to your mum when I say

This diagnosis does not define you  

You are still the same little boy you were yesterday, you are funny, caring, energetic, and I love that you can tell me all about the water cycle and platelets and plasma. Everyday with out prompting you tell me how much you love me you make me so proud. As your mum I am going to make sure I do everything I can to help you to reach your goals in life... I know you can be anything you want to be I want to see you get good grades in school I want to see you get a fantastic job that makes you happy or travel the world, and maybe even meet a girl settle down and get married.... whatever you want to do, what ever battles you face we will always be here for you.

I have never thought of you as a child with special needs and still in my eyes you are not, but you are special and different, but it would be boring if everyone was the same, you are such a strong little boy you are a privilege to know and you make me smile everyday I love you to the moon and back and this is just the beginning

Love always mummy x

Talking to children about death

Before I had children I had a huge list of things, that I as a parent felt sure that I wasn't ever going to do, and one of those things was talking about death, I truly believed that you have your whole life to take things seriously and to worry, I believed that worry shouldn't be put onto a child's shoulders, after all death is sometimes hard to comprehend as an adult, but when you are a child there is so much confusion and they have far more time to worry and become upset.

After Easter, the subject of death has become very popular with Liam, he had learned about Jesus on the cross and his resurrection at school and had lots of questions, for a while I tried to ignore the constant questions and I did the whole nice thing telling him that you went to the sky and you could play in the clouds, but to be quite honest I knew he didn't believe me, the questions were repetitive almost everyday, it was almost as if he knew I was lying. The thing is I wasn't lying I was just trying to protect him from something I knew would upset him.

Until this question "Mummy I could hurt someone and then they would come back to life"

It was in that moment, I realised you cant protect them or lie to them because it brings confusion and there was no way I wanted him thinking he could go round hurting people and they would come back to life like Jesus.

The trouble is if we leave children alone with fears and misunderstandings, they can grow and grow. We need to talk to children about dying so that the myths don’t take over, and so that they don’t feel isolated or guilty about what they think. It’s much better to have helped your child to have an understanding of death, funerals, burial and cremation before being confronted with these things when someone close to them dies. I have learned children are never to young to talk about death and dying.

Talking to a child about death and dying isn't easy, it is a difficult subject all round to approach but I have found ignoring questions that a child has can make a situation far worse, your child needs to know that it is alright to ask even if you feel you don't have all the answers.

1. Listen to the question your child is asking has even if you think it is silly, to them they need real answers.
2. Use language that a child can understand using words such as "passed away" can leave a child confused.
3. Don't tell them things like People only die when they're old, as it is not true and can cause future confusion and upset.
4. Try to answer questions as soon as they arise, as a child's attention span is limited.
5. Use life examples such as insects that have died or the leaves on the trees dying to show them that all things have to die.
6. Get your child to repeat back to you what you have told them so you know they have an understanding of what you have taught them.
7. reassure them it is alright to feel sad and upset, as naturally they are going to feel that way, just be there to support them by listening and talking through it with them.
8. If you feel that you don't know the answer to a question tell your child that but tell them you will find out the answer.
9. Ask them what they're thinking about what you have told them
10. Remember that children of different ages will differ in what they understand the younger the child the more literal they will take what you are say so be honest.  

  

I think the biggest thing I have learnt along the way from discussions with Liam is that I can't, no matter how hard I try, is to protect him from death. It is something that they are going to come across a lot through out there childhoods, whether it is a dead bird in the garden or a close relative or maybe even just and Easter story, but whatever the case maybe it is always going to be just as hard or harder for a child to understand as it is for grown ups.

My son was Suspended from school, he is five years old

The title of this post is shocking I agree, and lot's of people would say blame the parents, why not its always easy to point the finger, people will say they must not be coping or they probably don't tell him off or even that as parents we ignore Liam - But this is definitely not the case, if you have been following Liam's story on my blog you will know we have been fighting to get him help but every last ounce of help that he and our family needs to support Liam has had to be fought for even the school have let us down in many ways.

Suspension or expulsion for Liam's behavior was one of my biggest fears as a parent but after a meeting with the school around a month before this happened, the school reassured myself and Liam's dad that this would be a very, very last resort and they didn't like to do this to children of his age - quite rightly so I agreed. Liam hates school so taking him out of school would be ultimately giving him what he wants, which is not beneficial to him.

You might ask then, what did Liam do to get to a point where the school felt the need to suspend him, well nothing unusual really for Liam his favorite tricks spitting, lashing out, hiding under the tables and basically disrupting the class, the thing is no one goes into a job and expects to be abused verbally or physically by any other human being no matter what the age - however as I said in a previous post the school just can not cope with him, they're running out of behavior techniques to use with Liam, and they just do not want him in that school, the head teacher told me that it would "look better on his records" if they have, had to suspend him so he can get the help he requires, What I don't understand is why it has to come to this before extra help can be put into place - it might help them to look better on their records and school inspections, but on Liam's records he will be judged by it for the rest of his life.

I agree that Liam should not be a pupil at this school its not beneficial to him, to the teaching staff or to the other pupils, but they are just not helping. For Liam to move schools he needs a statement and a diagnosis and to get this he needs an educational psychologist report all of which he has been waiting for, for over a year now, it is up to the school to sort this out, which just does not seem to be happening for one reason or another. 

I think the action they have taken is unfair as it isn't going to make an already bad situation any better, you see all children like Liam are going to have a long road ahead of them, because they're just to young to know how to cope with their feelings and know how to control there temper, but I didn't count on every step of Liam's journey being a battle for us as parents surely the support and systems should just be in place to be able to access them when they are required for any child, but clearly the system they have in place is just not working.

      

Behavior, Liam's update we are no closer to a diagnosis

For a long time, I have known Liam isn't quite like other children, his behavior is very erratic not just at home, but at school as well he doesn't like change, he gets very frustrated easily and lashes out, he doesn't Listen, he still has no established friends at school, although a lot of the children like him he isn't really bothered if they're their or not.
Liam has been under the pediatrician for quite sometime, they are thinking that maybe he has ADHD, Autism Or ADD, he has also recently started showing signs of anxiety

This is what has been happening so far,

• August 2014 - Liam has a meeting with the pediatrician she wants assessments from speech and language, hearing tests, and the educational psychologist to see Liam at home and at school.

• October 2014- Liam passes his hearing test, although the test was to put a coin in the box when a beep sounded, Liam proceeded to put the coins in when ever he felt like it. speech and language book an appointment to see Liam for November.

• November 2014 - Liam's appointment is cancelled because there isn't enough speech and language therapists the appointment is re-booked for January in a surgery the other side of the town that we live.    

• December 2014 - Liam sees the educational psychologist at school she only carried out half the assessment required and booked to see us at home but never turned up.

• January 2015 - Dad takes Liam over for his appointment, when he gets there the appointment had been cancelled again.

• January 2015 - A big meeting is called, with all the professionals including myself and Liam's Dad, no decisions are made as the assessments that are required haven't been carried out. It is decided that my self and dad needed to attend a course and Liam was to be refereed back to the educational psychologist and was still to see speech and language.

• February 2015 - Liam See's speech and language and passes his assessment.

• April 2015 - Another appointment with the pediatrician and there is still no further progress to report. Apart from that Liam's behavior has deteriorated at school and he is showing signs of anxiety and is talking a lot about death and bad things happening.

• May 2015 - The Educational psychologist comes out to see Liam at school, and forgets to bring the right assessment tools, we are now still awaiting this and another meeting is being arranged with all the health and educational professionals.

So you see it is a long journey it makes me really cross and frustrated at times nobody seems to want to take responsibility for anything, and this has been going on around three years in total now.
Liam is not learning anything at school as he spends most of his time doing naughty things, almost every week I am being called into the school, and sometimes everyday its really tough for us all. I wish I knew the answers but I don't, I wish I could make him happier but I cant, Liam hates school and I can see him ending up in a different school and to be honest that might be the best thing all round, but for now we are still trying to get a diagnosis and his current school are still trying to manage him, but they're already not coping and are struggling to know what to do next with him even though he already has a one to one support teacher.
I have no idea why things have to take so long the schools just don't seem to have an effective system in place to help children with difficulties its seems to be one long battle after the next.      

My four year old wont go to sleep! (He has a excuse for everything)

Bedtime routine in my house has not changed really since the boys were little, except now Adam goes up first, he goes to sleep almost instantly, I spend all day with Adam, so the half an hour once Adam has gone to bed,  That I get to spend with Liam, we spend reading his School book and having a chat is precious time that I really enjoy with him, until I say those little words "Its time for bed now Liam"

This little boy has an excuse every night as to why he should stay up later and once in bed there is a reason about every five seconds as to why he is shouting down the stairs  "muuuuuuuum"

Most of you with children can probably relate to this but hear are my favourite excuses, time lingering moments and reasons why Liam shouts down the stairs every single night.

• Mum can I just have two seconds longer.....................nope its bedtime now
• I need to read my book again.....................we have read it twice ... come on its bed time
• My leg hurts..........................yes Liam it probably needs to get some rest in bed
• but mummy im not tired............................hmmm look at me Liam..... yes they really are piggy eyes that need to sleep.
• Can I take my pad up to bed with me..................nope mummy is getting cross now.
• I neeeed a weeeeee ........................quickly hurry up.
• immmm too tired to walk up the stairs .............................Liam just go now!

Finally he is upstairs in his bed and it starts again......

• mummy I think I need a drink.............You have just had one
• But I'm still hungry........its bed time
• can you read me a story mummy.........no we have read our story's 
• I think my tummy is grumbling because I'm not tired..........
• Can I have a car to play with...............right one and I will choose (otherwise everyone I pick is not the right one!)
• can I have fudgy bear.............yes alright 

I have said my good night and told Liam to go to sleep now its very late, does this little boy go to sleep, no is the answer its usually as my foot has just reached the bottom step and I hear "muuuuuuuuuum" eugh what now I am usually muttering to my self and so it begins the trotting up and down the stairs because he is out of bed leaning over the stair gate............

• Mummy I think I heard a noise (a fire work, bird, tumble dryer the TV the list goes on) ........Liam just go to sleep 
• Mummy  I think I need to sleep in your bed.......
• Mummy I have a cough.........as he is completely faking his imaginary illness
• Mummy I think the TV is too loud.......

"mummy mummy mummy" it goes on and so does my evening usually for at least an hour after he has actually gone up to bed in the first place by the time I have finished with him and he has actually gone to sleep patience has disappeared my temper is frayed, there is nothing worse than being a tired mummy! 

Do you have trouble getting your child to bed what are there best excuses? I would love to hear your thoughts?

Power Rangers Mega Force Toys from Bandai #Reveiw

A few weeks ago we were asked if we would like to review some Power Rangers toys, now although Liam rarely watches the program, because he doesn't like the monsters that the Power Rangers have to fight off, I asked him if he would like to try some of the new toys, he said yes he would like to, as he was smiling and clapping in excitement, you know when you wish as a mum you hadn't told your child something that was going to happen before it did, this is how I felt, as he was pestering me and waiting for the postman everyday - and just typical the day they arrived we had popped out. I collected them and there were two separate toys the first a Power Rangers Mega Force Robo Morpher and the second was a Robo Knight Power Ranger Training set.

    
Liam wanted to try out the Power Rangers Mega Force Robo Morpher first, its a bit like a pretend phone but of course its not a phone or so I am told by Liam, the Robo Morpher comes battery complete so no need to worry about the toy not having batteries, it does make sounds once the battery strip has been removed, although the noises are pretty quiet I personally think that this is a good thing as there are to many toys are made that are very very loud even for children. The Robo Morpher is quite chunky and sturdy, So you don't need to worry about it braking easily.

The Robo Morpher only actually has one functioning button on its keypad the rest of the keys are there for show - they don't actually do anything, which I thought was a little disappointing however this does mean that Liam had to use his imagination and its always great when toys encourage this. The set also comes with one of the collectible cards. The Card and the Robo Morpher can be used and attached alongside the other Power Rangers toys in this range.

The phone buttons and the noises being low in sound were not disappointing at all to Liam he really likes the toy and he likes ringing the Power Rangers for help, especially when he is being told off! I thought the product was a little high in price - Priced at between £12 and £15 depending on where you shop. The age range of the toy is 4 plus.

Overall the Robo Morpher phone has been played with lots over the last few weeks and Liam hasn't gotten bored with it yet,  he has really enjoyed playing with it, based on his view I would say this was a good toy, I would of liked it more if it had been a little more interactive, but I would still purchase it, especially as I know Liam really likes it. 

The second toy Liam tried out was the Robo Knight power ranger Training set, The training set comes complete with sword, mask, power cards and a card holder buckle the idea for your child is they can become a power ranger using their imagination.

Again the toys in this set are made quite well their not flimsy, making them great if like my boys they're a little bit on the boisterous side. The set is again is aged at 4+ however the elastic on the mask needed a bit of loosening on the back for Liam's head as the mask was quite tight once fitted.

The action power cards come with most sets in the Power Rangers collection. You can then play a game once they're collected but to do this you would need to purchase the Power Rangers Megaforce Deluxe Gosei Morpher and use the cards to call the "Rangers' Zords into battle" which then unlocks phrases used by the Power Rangers.  

The card buckle holder is a great way to keep all the cards in one place and is the perfect size to attach to a child's belt or trousers.

Liam's favourite piece of the set is the laser sword although it doesn't interact, he has been carrying this around with him for a few days - he wants to find some dragons or monsters.

Over all Liam has really enjoyed the training set he has been playing with this along side the Robo Morpher the toys really go together well - we now just need to collect the other toys in the range.

Power Rangers toys can be found in most good high street toys or for more information from the makers Bandai they can be found on Twitter and Facebook

I was sent both of these Power Rangers toys for the purpose of this review all opinions remain honest and my own.

Baby's outfit of the day, #bootd

This week there is a new linky on the block over at the little life of Ickle Pickle. The linky is for children up to the age of 5 years old and the idea is to link up your children's or child, favourite outfit from the week so although my boys are not babies I thought I would link up there outfits from this morning as it was raining they both wore wellies because we had to nip out before school to a meeting.
This is what the boys wore today, picked by Adam who has completely his own mind about everything, Liam just wears what I give him without batting an eyelid but Mr fussy Adam always has to have a say in what he wants!

So this is what Adam choose this morning, he likes the T-shirt because Nana bought it for him, Liam likes it because his favourite colour is blue.

• T-shirt Primark
• Trousers Primark 
• Adams Wellies - George Asda
• Liam's Wellies - Shoe Zone

both outfits cost less than £15 which is a bargain wouldn't you agree? I am a huge fan of Primark, the styles are always changing, meaning their is something new every time you shop and you cant argue with the prices especially when you have children that drag there feet on the pavements and roll around in stones, as it is cheap enough to replace there clothes once they are worn out or there outfit simply looks like it has seen better!

What is your favourite shop? or what do your children like to wear?

  

A simple Easter Hat, The Results

Last Monday I posted about how we made our Easter hat for Liam's parade. We were all set and ready, but a slight mishap or purposeful destruction happened on Tuesday evening when Adam in his temper pulled the beak of....

A devastated Liam sobbed his little heart out but between us we set to work to fix it, I decided that the triangle beak looked a bit harsh so using one of the boys dinner plates, I drew around some cardboard and made the beak rounded, it make the chick look a bit confused but perhaps not as angry as the first and we stuck the tissue paper back on.

We set off for school on Wednesday afternoon, Liam was insistent he wore his hat on the walk - it isn't really that far but on the way disaster struck Liam fell over on the way down the hill into school and the beak broke, I was beginning to think the hat just wasn't meant to get to the school for his parade, but luckily it was still attached on the underside with sellotape and the hat just looked as though it was going to talk to us.

We went along to the Easter parade, their were so many lovely and well made hats amongst the ninety children, made up of three classes, for each class there was prize's, first, second and third, myself and Liam's daddy watched as Liam braved the stage and did his little twirl, giving us a cheeky wave he really was so proud of his hat.

As they read out the results of the little competition, third place, it wasn't Liam, second place it wasn't Liam, they got to the first place and that was it he had done it they read out Liam's name, I was so proud of him as he almost ran onto the stage to collect his prize of an Easter egg - his little face was glowing, one of Liam's favourite sayings is "I never win" he was waving and trying to tell us he had won I had to swallow hard, I actually felt like crying, but tears of happiness its amazing how such a little thing when you have children can make you so proud. This time Liam is a winner!

As you can see I didn't make Liam wait until Easter to eat his egg he definitely deserved it and he shared it with Adam I am a very proud mummy!

   

Gorse Hill City Farm - an adventure

Today we put on are wellies - or Boots in my case, and went off to a fantastic place, just a stones throw away from the city. You would never believe in between houses and set on a hill is a little farm, Or a big farm that is for little feet and it is right on our doorstep called Gorse Hill city farm.

They have all sorts of Animals, pigs hiding in their pens, turkeys gurgling their happy tunes, Guinea pigs and rabbits having a snooze snuggling inside to keep warm on these cooler days.

The boys loved looking at the Animals although Liam was rather more interested in the park his little eyes had lit up at the site of the shiny slide and the tall climbing frame, but Adam was not so interested in park his little legs didn't know which way to run, his head bobbing from one side to the other he was fascinated with all the life of the farm, his little voice was wobbling not knowing what to ask first

"whats that noise mama?" "whats the rabbit doing?" "whats that?" 

he was so excited to see the animals eating the grass and the sheep that were rearing their young "baba" he was squealing and pointing as he is trying to find his footing on the fence.

They both ran there little legs off across the field spotting pony's and cows as we went along - finding secret passage ways between fences and bushes, picking up old bits of feed that the farmers had dropped, and trying to feed the already well fed goats.

We did manage to end our adventure on the play area - which is surrounded by animal pens Adam still not so interested in the park wondered up and down talking to the animals - Today was a great adventure for us all.

The boys even managed to milk a cow - not a real one but they loved it anyway!

Gorse Hill City farm is a great place for any family, fantastic outdoor fun for any children looking for an adventure amongst animals.

       

A simple Easter Bonnet for a boy!

Having looked around online, and in shops for an Easter Bonnet for Liam - all of them seem to be for girls pretty straw hats and fluffy bunnies not much out there that seems to be aimed at boys so with some inspiration from my mum and some super gluing efforts from Liam we came up with and made our own simple to make Easter bonnet.

What you need,

• Around ten sheets of tissue paper - yellow (depending on the hat size)
• 2-4 sheets of orange tissue paper 
• PVA glue
• A plastic hat with a peak at the front or a helmet
• some cardboard
• some white paper and a black felt tip pen

First of all cut a triangle out of the card bored and secure it to the hat, I used glue but it still felt loose so I popped a bit of sellotape on the underside if you are using a plastic hat with a peak skip this step!

 
Then Start screwing all the yellow tissue paper into balls not to tight, then apply the PVA glue to the hat or helmet simply work your way around the hat making sure all is covered but the peak of the hat or the triangle that you have just attached.

Once you have covered the hat, start screwing up the orange tissue paper and cover the triangle or the peak of the hat, once you have done this, the bonnet is nearly complete.

I was lucky with our hat it already has eyes on it but to make the eyes just cut out some pieces of white paper into an oval shape and draw on the pupils then just affix them on with some PVA glue.

The Bonnet principle of making this hat could be used to make a Rabbit fixing on white ears and white tissue paper, or a sheep, cow, and you could even make a duck! the possibility are endless we loved making our hat and Liam cant wait to wear it to his parade on Wednesday.

First bike ride and fun at the park

As you know a few weeks ago it was Liam's fourth birthday, one of the presents he had for his birthday was his first bike so at the beginning of the week we had some nicer weather so off we went to the park for his first ride round - I even took Adam his little trike but it has a handle so I can push him along he is little and still cant reach the pedals!

That path in the picture goes all the way round in a circle and he managed to ride all the way round it twice, very slowly and turning the corners he turned the handle bars a bit to far and managed to fall off a few times but he loved it and he was getting faster as he was learning which way to pedal but still couldn't take his eyes off his feet bless him.

We also when to the park while we were out mummy got lumbered with the bikes I didn't realise how heavy a four year old's bike could be! 

The boys do love the park its something I don't think children could ever get bored of!  

I really enjoyed our morning at the park I never thought I would see Liam riding a bike as before in the past he has always refused to get on a bike and he didn't want one he blatantly refused point blank to go anywhere near one, I don't think there will be any stopping him now so we will be spending much more time on bikes over the spring/summer! I might even get myself a bike with a seat for Adam than we could all go out riding!

  

ADHD - And Ignorance, DO NOT JUDGE US!

I don't normally rant on my blog about things that make me angry and to be honest that's because not that many things in life make me that angry. So angry that I want to thump someone in the face or give them a firm shake and tell them to get there head out of cuckoo land - but what I read on Facebook today from the article to peoples views made me see red .

The Article that sparked the mass of stupid comments by absolutely ignorant people was posted by Parent dish titled "ADHD is a label not a real disease according to an American neuroscientist."  The Article it's self makes some valid points I don't believe medication should be given out like sweets, I think that each area of alternative treatment should be tried like changing diets, finding extra activities to occupy a child and if nothing else works then the medication route should be approached but with great caution.

I agree that ADHD is a label, I don't believe for one moment that it is a disease, I believe that some where in the brain the person has simply been wired differently from the rest of us. However this is a label that helps to cement the stepping stones that will guide children through the rest of their lives and to deal with there behaviors and difficulty's.

Who cares if it's just a label? Any condition that exists in the body or should I say in the brain like depression, anxiety, OCD and ADHD, they are all things that people can't see, that people don't class as an illness just because they can't see the illness physically, however this does not mean that the individual person is not ILL.

Just because you can't see anything physically it doesn't mean their label is any less worthy, than someone who has heart trouble or has broken their leg, the only difference is most people with a physical illness get better, those with an illness or disease that is trapped in there mind will probably be trapped with their thoughts forever and I think there is no where that could be more lonely than a person or especially a child that is trapped with thoughts or actions they simply can't control.

The Article I am guessing has been written to spark debate, however it wasn't so much the article that made me feel like I was boiling over in anger, it was the comments underneath - the article was a fine example of how people with a small minded existence look at other families another way to attack parents that have a tough enough job on a day to day basis and its the type of comments that will have mums like me and you questioning there own parenting skills.

Now I was going to post the picture on this blog post but I am not sure I am aloud to so here are two of the worst comments;

 "Completely agree. It's a label parents use who have badly behaved children!"

 "its a label that parents use for their lazy parenting skills and not being able to control their own  children!!"

The two quotes are clearly from two very small minded people that have absolutely no idea of what they are talking about - a very good example of ignorance in life.

Although Liam is not diagnosed with anything and may never be, he is a really difficult child he always has been difficult. I have two boys that have both been raised in exactly the same way, neither has more than the other in gifts or in parenting, yet they are like chalk and cheese I have one child that is reasonably good where as the other often goes out of his way to be naughty, to push every last bit of patience I have, I often think he strives to win situations or to manipulate them to get his own way.

Let me tell you its bloody hard work, my parenting skills are far from lazy in fact there are days when I feel like I am sick of my own voice, I am constantly on his back, to stop kicking, throwing, hitting, spitting even just getting him  to lick a piece of food, it's an uphill battle and the reason for the lick is because he will not put food in his mouth.

Saturday we went for a meal, after the meal Liam wanted to go on the park outside the pub. The park climbing frame was over 6ft tall and was clearly labelled for children over six only - yes there was a smaller climbing area for younger children, but oh no Liam did not want to play on that he wanted to go on the bigger area he was told NO, resulting in a complete melt down of screaming and dragging his feet.

At this point it was time to leave it took two of us to physically drag him back to the car, people staring, tutting and raising there eyebrows.

Was this down to bad parenting, definitely not is it down to Liam - I don't know, I wont know until  he has been investigated, but what I do know is most people who write comments like the above have absolutely no idea at all of what it is like to live with a child who is constantly badly behaved, parenting with a "normal" child is hard enough, but with one that has extreme difficulty's with behavior etc takes over your whole life and every morning you wake up it is a struggle.

My reply back to those comments is to think before you judge parents on what you're seeing in front of your eyes, you have absolutely no idea of other peoples or children's personal circumstances, some of this behavior just can't be helped and blaming the parents is just making their lives more difficult, bad judgement rubs off onto others and make the parents that have to deal with ADHD etc, have to deal with your ignorance as well, in turn making life so much harder than it has to be. If your opinions are of the above I would rather you kept them to yourself, it is clear that people are very uneducated and the stigma that goes with any sort of mental health issues are still very real - in 2014 its really not good enough.
I have personally read and do read everything I possibly can about conditions that could potentially be affecting our future, I would never ever make a comment on something I knew nothing about.

My son may have ADHD or Autism or whatever else the professionals may or may not throw at us but he is happy well dressed we laugh, play, in fact he is very funny and he is learning to become very loving - he is a very special little boy.

Do not stare when you see children having a melt down or an over exaggerated tantrum - think about how you would feel if that was your child?