Wednesday 31 July 2019

I Have Breast Cancer

I keep saying it because I can barely believe it myself I have Breast Cancer I'm thirty-six years old, I have five children and I have Breast Cancer how can life be so bloody cruel.


physically I feel so well apart from having the odd pain in the breast I am no different to how I was a month ago except now I know, I know I have a monster growing in my breast one that is trying to suck the life out of me, how do I feel honestly, I am just numb I am talking about it to people telling friends, family, work colleagues as if its just something that has happened or happens to everyone its still does not feel real, my brain just isn't processing the information at this point.

flowers with the words I have Breast Cancer

Thursday 11th July Diagnosis and the plan 

Today was the day I was given my diagnosis, I went to the hospital with Ian and my sister by my side, to listen to the news I was almost expecting, the consultant said I'm really sorry its cancer - my reaction I didn't cry I think over the last week I had already prepared myself for the worst news possible they thought there were two small masses however they couldn't be sure as when they do a mammogram in women under fifty, breast tissue is quite dense so they can't always see cancer properly.

The consultant explained that because of how the cancer was sitting inside my breast, there were two small masses about two centimetres apart surrounded by microcalcifications (the beginnings of more cancer)

The Consultant thought that I would need to have a full mastectomy,  However, she wanted to be sure and said they were going to send me for an MRI which would give them a much more accurate view of what they were actually dealing with because of my young age if they could they would rather just perform a lumpectomy where they remove only the part with cancer so my boob would be saved.

The consultant had also organised blood to be taken an ECG and my pre-operation talk I was given leaflets, for practically everything I needed to know about breast cancer and a special folder to keep it all in, but no actual specific treatment plan yet.

I have no idea what they were talking about at that point it was just all too much my mind was drifting fixated on the folder, ironically I was thinking the last time I had a special folder and this many appointments I was having the twins, how I wish I could go back to then, I was so happy, now I just don't know what to think or feel I don't want a bloody operation nor do I want any treatment I just want it all to go away.



  1. You are so brave Helen for talking so openly about this. I'm here for you. Xxx

  2. Sending massive hugs to you!
    Well done for talking about it and being so brave x

  3. Ive never met such a brave and open women,
    You are an amazing mummy look how you solved evreything befor meeting ian with the boy because you are a brave and strong lady and you are not alone in this your friends and family are right behind you and you are going to kick this we all love you stay strong u can beat this xxx

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