Wednesday 26 March 2014

Toddlers and Terrible Twos - There is no right way!

As a parent I don't think anyone can prepare you for parenthood, no one tells you of the changes and phases that a child will go through, some are great and some you wish they would disappear as quick as they appeared in your world.

When Adam hit two in October he was just becoming that little boy who was beginning to say no to everything - everything he liked, he now doesn't, that sweet boy that was smiling pointing and giggling at things has turned into some sort of monster that screams when you say no, bangs his head on the walls when you tell him its not dinner time yet, that throws himself on the the floor in a rage in the supermarket when you tell him he cant have a car, lollipop or anything else that has taken his fancy on that particular day.

Even getting out of the door on some days is a nightmare he wants to walk, I want him to go in the pushchair, he is just so slow, I am not a mean mum but when you in a rush it is just not practical to have a toddler walking or if you have a long way to go, so the battle begins, him tensing all his body arching his back, slithering and throwing himself about so you cant get his arms in the straps, screaming and telling me no, once in the pushchair he is crying and whimpering he is a baby again.

You see not all is as simple as it seems one minute they want to be grown up and independent and the next thing they are a baby again, its a battle of wills and frustration all round.

If I am going to give you advice on how to deal with terrible twos, I really don't think I can, there is not a right way, you could read every book or Internet article, they may give you hints and tips or coping strategies, but like most things you really don't learn anything until you are put in situations - I would just say go with it, I try to ignore the tantrums as much as I can, there are certain things you cant ignore like when they are throwing toys across the room, but attention of any sort when they are having a tantrum can just spur them on to do it all the more.

Am I a bad mum if I say I have tried bribery (on more than one occasion) to give him the need and want to sit in the pushchair - maybe bribery isn't the way forward, but in that split moment when your fighting with them because your already running ten minutes late, running late because they have decided they don't want to wear an outfit, you have forgotten there blanket or they have decided they wont have there nappy changed, it is so easy to say, we will go to the park, on the bus or to the shop because you know it will get them in to that pushchair and out the door - in the hope by the time you get halfway down the street they will have forgotten what you have said! I try not to use this method and I definitely would not recommend it but in moments of sheer desperation and as a mum times do try you, you will try anything to make a situation easier.  

Things do get better, although terrible twos feel as though it lasts forever at the time. This behaviour isn't going to last forever, it will melt away as quick as it has come and somewhere inside that monster that kicks and hits you and shouts no, is that lovely child.


1 comment

  1. hahah Love this only because I am in the thick of terrible twos, Buba's came late he is almost three but hey ho it's there and hopefully it doesn't stick around too long. It's so different for each child but in all similar ways. I can relate to bribery. I use it all the time. I know bad mom alert!!! Loving your blog thank you ever so much for stopping by and linking up to Share With Me. Great to get to know I am not alone in the terrible twos and scary I have another one right behind him eeek #sharewithme


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