Wednesday 14 May 2014

Finally back to work, Back to work as a nurse - About Me!

This is the news I have been waiting for, in which feels like forever, I actually had my interview for my new job on the 28th of December 2013, when I applied for it, I never actually thought for one moment that I would be considered for the job, let alone get it, but I did get the job and I was absolutely over the moon, now I have a start date which is Monday the 19th of May I actually can't believe it!

I will tell you more about my new job later in the post, when I started writing this post I realised that throughout my blog I always tell you so much about the boys and the tales of what they are doing on a day to today basis but I never actually tell you much about myself, so this is my journey of how I got to where I am now.

When I left school I didn't know what I wanted to be, not really I don't think many people do at 16 but at 17 I managed to get a job in a residential home - I think I applied because its what my friend's were doing, once I started, I was hooked I loved helping the residents, hearing all their tales as much as it was very sad at times because we all no life has to end somewhere, there were times that the residents had me crying with laughter with some of the tales they had to tell - I would chat to them for as long as I could taking in and imagining what there lives were like.

After working in a residential home for a few years, I don't know what made me do it really I guess I just needed something more challenging, I applied for a job as a health care assistant at the local hospital on Oncology. I was a bit naive to be honest because at 20 I didn't know what that word "Oncology" even meant, it was a medical ward for people with cancer.

I got the job and started I am not going to lie to you, when I first started on the ward I hated every moment of  it, I found it very sad to start off with and emotionally draining I cried a lot for the first few months every night when I got home from work.

But I stuck at the job and the biggest things I learnt from working on that ward was that not everyone dies from cancer, people survive and even the sickest of the people on that ward, could still usually manage a smile, I had to tell myself it was alright to be me, to smile and to appreciate that these people didn't need someone who felt sorry for them, they just wanted to be normal and to be treated normally.

Whilst on Oncology I had the opportunity to complete my NVQ level 3 which I did over a years period and with some encouragement from some fellow colleges and the ward matron pushing me a bit. I applied to university to be an adult trained nurse.

They accepted my application, that was it I was a student nurse - this was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I loved all the clinical placements but 10 weeks in each place was difficult you would just start to feel like you were part of the team and before you knew it, it was time to move on again.
Academically I struggled, working 30 hours a week and studying and I was never the greatest at writing assignments or doing exams but I did them and I got through them.

Then in the early summer of 2009 I found out I was expecting Liam - this was not at all part of the plan, but it was to late he was coming with only six months left until I was a fully qualified nurse, I was determined I would get to the end of my training. Nothing was ever that simple for me - my pregnancy was a mixture of illness and stays in hospital.
I had to take early maternity leave from university, I only had three months to go until I should have qualified I was devastated but focused upon becoming a mum.

I went back to uni in the September after Liam had been born - times had never been so difficult studying working looking after Liam.

Uni had given me a placement on Intensive care which pushed me to the limit with my nursing skills I cant put into words how hard I worked to pass that last placement it was really tough my confidence was knocked at the time I thought I was in the wrong profession I began to doubt myself and question everything I did - when I got to the end of my placement, having learnt so much not just about Intensive care, but about myself, my mentor who was an inspiration I might add, actually passed me I never thought I would get there but I did, I was a fully Qualified adult nurse.

I applied for a job in the NHS, the job's were limited and I wasn't great at interviews, so unfortunately didn't get the job.

I applied for a job in the local 400 winged prison. I thought my final placement had pushed me to limits, this was a different sort of push I was genuinely scared of my own shadow at the prison and also scared of the male inmates, there was a different sort of drama on a daily basis, I knew I wasn't cut out to be a prison nurse, I am too soft and I think I would have been taken advantage in the end, but it didn't matter I found myself pregnant with Adam and again the same thing took over illness, pregnancy didn't like me although I loved pregnancy - but again it meant going on maternity leave early.

I decided not to go back to the prison, it really was not for me I took a job working a few nights a week in a nursing home, although I wasn't their for that long when I found myself a single mum - I gave up my job last March, I had no choice, I couldn't carry on working, the boys were young, I didn't drive and there isn't a lot of child care around where I live so heart broken and to be quite honest very depressed I took a break and that was march 2013.

Then at Christmas I applied for a job, I don't really know what made me do it, I was just bored one night! but I got an interview and then got offered the position.

Which is where I am today, I am going to be starting work on a Short stay emergency medical unit at the local hospital, its actually making me feel sick as I type it, I am feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension, I have spoken to my new ward matron who has given me shifts for the next few weeks, a crucial induction is where I will start and will be rotating through the induction days in lectures and working in different departments such as Accident and emergency and the acute medical units.

I am scared I wont remember anything, or what if no one likes me? what if I am just a plain rubbish
nurse, or cant remember doses of medication? 

Let me tell you I am not sleeping much at the moment as the day grows ever closes I am already feeling the pressure, not to mention worrying about how the boys are going to cope at the childminders two days a week, or how we are all going to cope getting up at 5am.

But I need to do this for me, not only that but for our future it really isn't going to be much fun now - I am sure it is going to be really hard but I know long term it will make our future better.         




  1. Well done on getting the job that's fantastic. Don't be nervous I'm sure you will be fine, I'm excited for you :) x #sharewithme

  2. Well done! Congratulations! I'm sure you'll be fine! x

  3. Fantastic news on your new job! You're going to be fine - it will all come flooding back. #sharewithme

  4. Congratulations on your new position! That's great! #sharewithme

  5. Huge congratulations Helen, that's amazing. You will do great don't be nervous hunny. It will all come back to you!!! Good luck and I look forward to hearing all about it on your blog. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  6. Big congrats. What an exciting new job. It's natural to be nervous but you'll be in the swing of it before you know it. Well done, #Sharewithme

  7. So pleased for you Helen :-) congrats again! Best of luck for your first day back tomorrow, let me know how it goes hun. :) xxx

  8. Well Done to you for going for it and Congratulations on getting the job too. I understand how nervous you are feeling but give it a few weeks for you all to get used to the new routine and I'm sure you will all be really happy. #sharewithme (

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