I had a long hard think about this before I started to write, as its something that lies very close to my heart and for some of my family emotions are still very raw but I decided the right thing to do was to write, not to hurt peoples feelings but to help raise awareness of this topic because its something that still has a great amount of taboo about it and it isn't talked about nearly enough.
Despite the media and different charity's trying to raise awareness of this subject the stigma associated with depression and suicide is still very much real. No matter what the age or mental history when some one close commits suicide the feelings of heart break are incomprehensible and when you are a family member that has been left behind those emotions are so strong and so raw, you figure to work out why this happens so its easy to flinch away from the topic.
Statistics;
- 6,188 suicides were registered in the UK and 451 in the Republic of Ireland.
- The highest suicide rate in the UK was for men aged 40–44.
- The highest suicide rate in the Republic of Ireland was for men aged 25–34 (with an almost identical rate for men aged 45–54).
- Rates have increased in the UK (by 3.8%), England (by 2%), Wales (61.8%) and Northern Ireland (18.5%) since 2014 – however increases in Wales and Northern Ireland may be explained by inconsistencies in the processes for recording suicides in these countries.
- Rates have decreased in Scotland (by 1.4%) and the Republic of Ireland (by 13.1%) since 2014.
- There were 6,639 suicides in the UK and Republic of Ireland.
- In England and the UK, female suicide rates are at their highest in a decade.
- Male rates remain consistently higher than female suicide rates across the UK and Republic of Ireland – most notably 5 times higher in Republic of Ireland and around 3 times in the UK.
(statistics taken from Samaritans website facts and figures)
I was seventeen when I first came across suicide of course I knew it happened but I hadn't had it affect my life. I was enjoying my life, living it up going out to nightclubs - when I shouldn't have been, I had just got my first boyfriend, I was working in a residential home for the elderly, my life was pretty busy.
That day I remember it like it was yesterday the day we got the terrible news, I don't know what I had been doing that day, I remember my auntie and uncle coming round to the house my mum and dad told us to go up stairs out the way, my mum had her stern voice on so we knew to get out of the way and stay out of the way. My Auntie and Uncle were with my mum and dad quite sometime, I could hear my mum crying, I knew it was serious before I even knew what had happend, she called us in to the living room she told us my Uncle had died, he was only young I didn't believe her, I started laughing, I think they thought I had gone mad. I guess everyone reacts to bad news differently.
It wasn't until later I found out he had taken his own life, he had been severely depressed no one had known he was depressed, he had meant to do it, he made sure he would succeed, he had taken himself off to a nature spot put a pipe through his van window. He had left letters for the police and his mum of the reasons why he didn't want to live anymore. which would remain confidential to this day, we still don't know the reasons why he did what he did.
Depression is an awful thing I guess he felt he had got nothing worth living for, at the time it hit me like a ton of bricks I actually didn't cope at all well with it, I couldn't understand the reasons why I thought about it all the time, was he lonely? was he frightened? why did he have to do it? I was angry as well I thought he was selfish I didn't go to the funeral I couldn't I was too angry.
In fact I myself became very depressed, I tried to have counselling but it made me feel worse I did't want to talk, I wanted to be with him I got to a point where couldn't cope with it all and I actually tried to take my own life and I wanted to do it the hospital made me better, for me only to go home and to plan how next time I would actually succeed, but thanks to medication and having a fantastic family, I slowly got better, I slowly got my life back on track, but as I write this the emotions that I felt at that time are still very much there and very raw because I don't understand it and I never will and its always hard to understand something that can never be explained, The only person that can explain it is not here anymore.
Then this time nearly a year ago another member of the family took his own life, out of respect for my family, given how very raw things still are, I am not going to go into details as it can take a long time to deal with a suicide and that is if you ever actually get over it it is such a hard thing to have to cope with never mind talk about.
Suicide has has a massive impact on my family and that is why I feel so strongly about raising awareness and encouraging people to talk and seek help if they need it.
How Can you help?
Across the world more than 800,000 people take there lives every day. This years theme from the Samaritans is encouraging people to let others know that its Okay to talk sometimes just asking someone if they are Okay, taking that time to listen, when someone is feeling down and worthless like nobody cares, will make the difference between suicide and admitting they're not coping and that they are struggling with life itself so they are able to reach out and get the all important help and support that they need.
You can also show your support by using the hashtag #ITSOKAYTOTALK and help raise awareness of the subject to help break the stigma around mental health and suicide and most of all to let those who are struggling with life right now know that they are not alone there is always someone there who will listen.
If you feel you need help with this subject or you want any more information you can contact the Samaritans on there webpage www.Samaritans.org or by phone 116123 this helpline is for people struggling the Samaritans are there 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, the phone number is a free phone number and you don't have to be suicidal to contact them - there is no need to be alone.
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