Preparing your Life and Mind for Twins

Being a mum of multiples if always going to be more hard work than having a single baby things so preparing your life and mind for twins is important as once they are here things can be quite chaotic at times, the easiest way to deal with things is to prepare in advance so you are ready because you never know what might happen.

Be packed and prepared for the hospital early.

Unfortunately with twin pregnancies the chances of having your babies early are a lot higher than a normal pregnancy and having complications in pregnancy are higher as well, have your bag packed by the front door or somewhere that is easily accessible, also if you have other children have them a little rucksack in place with nightwear and anything important they might need.

Talk.

If you have other children make sure you talk lots about the twins, I tried to involve my boys every step of pregnancy, even taking them to one of the ultra sound scans so everything was made to be more real for them and so that also they didn't feel pushed out or left out. I also set up any equipment I had such as the baby bouncers and Moses baskets about six weeks to a month before I had the twins so Jack who is two could have a play and would be used to seeing things before they arrived and also so that he could have a play with the toys on them and would be bored with the toys by the time the twins arrived and did not feel jealous.

Make things personalised.

My twins are not identical, however when they were born it was easy to confuse them with each other and I can imagine its harder when they are identical, get some hats or bibs with there names on or if they are identical you could try always dressing them in different socks or mittens so you can tell them apart and so other people can easily differentiate between the two of them.

Get support.

Ask people if they would like to help out before the twins are born, discuss with your partner ideas of how you can help each other, I realise not everyone has the greatest support network in family and friends, if this is the case speak to your midwife there are charity groups that will come in and watch the twins for a couple of hours, even if you just get some much needed sleep or do the house work grab all the help you can you will honestly be grateful of the help. Also join Twin mum groups on social media such as Facebook or join the boards on net mums there is always someone online to give advice or just a friendly ear to listen no matter what time of the day or night.

Rest.

I know this is difficult if you have other children but try and nap or put your feet up when you can, getting sleep and rest at this point is important for your health and well being.

Preparing your mind

Try to understand people will say stupid things.

Being pregnant is an odd time in your life where you are on probably the scariest most crazy journey of your life. Your hormones and emotions combined with complete strangers offering you advice purely because you are pregnant. This is a time I would honestly say you have to take people with a pinch of salt, People say all sorts of things without engaging there mouth with there brain and most people dont realsie what they are saying can be hurtful and upsetting if its taken the wrong way. It’s really not worth your time or energy to get upset over stranger’s comments just listen to peoples advice it doesn't mean you have to follow it. Some days are much harder than others but let the stupid and sometimes predictable comments go over your head but do enjoy the compliments you get when you get them.

Enjoy those lasts before the firsts begin.

It’s so so easy to get carried away in all the excitement of being pregnant and never mind the fact you are having twins but don’t rush things. Everything will happen eventually ( I know it feels like forever) but once those babies arrive life will never quite be the same again. Especially if its your first children, enjoy every moment of time you have to spend with your friends, family and partner while you can. Of course they will still be there after you give birth but somehow relationships change and nothing is as easy as just nipping to the shops or for a coffee. You need those last few weeks of rest and time of reflection to get through the rough patches. which is the perfect time to write down your feelings and make memories what your life is like in this moment. maybe you write a letter to your baby and your future self, detail your experiences of being pregnant and your hopes and dreams of your family.

Give yourself a break

There is no perfect anything never mind pregnancy. You can read every parenting book, every website but I truly believe nothing can ever quite prepare you for being a parent, you will get to a point where you just need to sit back and relax put the books down, stop googling. Don't stress If you eat that extra bit of cake or chocolate your babies will probably enjoy that mummy is relaxing don't stress it, if you decide to stay at home and sleep instead of meeting up with friends if they are true friends they will completely understand. No one ever said that being pregnant was going to be easy it sometimes seems a lifetime to get to the finishing post. A lot of people presume because you are glowing you are happy all the time its OK to have days where you just want to sleep or listen to sad songs and cry we have days like this when were not pregnant, so it is actually OK to have a bad day during your pregnancy too. When you get towards the latter months of pregnancy everything can be exhausting never mid the fact you are housing and growing two babies. If you’re tired, take a little nap or have an early night. Rome was not built in a day meaning somethings can just wait until the next day. Look after  and listen to your body

Depression awareness.

Being a mum of twins or multiples is a happy time like every new baby, however it is a massive life changing experience and it can also be very straining and stressful experience. There are going to be so many happy, blissful moments but you need to be mindful of the toll it can take on you not just physically but mentally as well. Depression and mood disorders are very common amongst mums of twins and multiples. If you think about it, this completely makes sense; excessive amounts of hormones, endless sleep deprivation, the extra physical stress all put on your body at the same time could and can trigger a imbalance in the brain that of course might need medical intervention to correct. Having twins and multiples is not a guarantee that you will get postnatal depression but having an awareness of the warning signs is good to know just in case. Also its good to let people around you (friends and family) know so that they can watch out for and recognise the signs of postnatal depression in case you don't. Sometimes people looking in from the outside see things more clearly and have a better an honest opinion of how you are doing.

Most of all enjoy every moment of your pregnancy and when the twins arrive, yes it can be stressful at times but pregnancy and babies don't last forever time drifts by so fast cherish and embrace it.